The Weekend of David Longo, Part 1

This weekend was nuts. There's really no other way to describe it, but I'll do my best. Of course, it was one of those situations where so many funny/ridiculous things happened that I probably don't remember them all, but I'll piece it together as best I can.

After work on Friday, I came into the city to meet up with Eric so that we could head down the Garden State Parkway to the one and only, Atlantic City. Those of you who know me well know that I enjoy the AC. I mean, who doesn't? Eric's friend, Chris, had a room down at Harrah's since he was playing in a poker tournament there over the weekend, and when the opportunity came about to make the trip, we couldn't pass it up. Especially since Eric had never been to America's Playground. Had to show him a good time.

I'm deciding to take a different approach to this story because I've been thinking about how log the essay could be on this weekend. Instead, I'll just pull out the highlights. If I went into all the details, I'd probably bore everyone and this post would become way too long.

(Eh, who am I kidding? It'll still be long. I don't know how to make any long story short. Back to the article.)

- I wanted to mention that while I was waiting for Eric, I ended up standing at an intersection in the city for about 20-25 minutes. I could have gone inside, but for one thing, I sit inside the office all day and wanted to get some air. So what did I do for 20-25 minutes? People watched. And New York City is the pantheon for people watching because basically everyone is nuts. In that time frame, I had 3 people ask for directions (all of which were nowhere near where they wanted to go and 1 of which was absolutely hammered), saw 2 ladies get hit on by the guy working the street vendor cart, and saw multiple people almost get hit by cars/bikes/other pedestrians. It's pretty funny to hear short excerpts of people's conversations as they walk by and try to imagine what exactly they were talking about. I also happened to be standing in front of a women's clothing store and noticed that about 3 or 4 women commented on one particular dress being "cute", which further solidifies my theory that all women think alike. I encourage everyone to people watch when you get a chance. It truly is a fascinating art.

- Night 1 of gambling was a good time, although at this point, it seems like forever ago. Blackjack is my game and I don't get bored of playing it endlessly. Of course, I can convince myself very quickly to get bored of it if I happen to be losing. This was not the case on Friday night, despite the evil dealer Tina, who may have been the single most miserable dealer I've ever come into contact with, I still ended up on top. Tina just wasn't a very happy person. We were trying to strike up conversation, give her compliments, make her smile. She gave us nothing except a look that screamed, "I don't want to be here." Well you know what, Tina? That's not my fault. We're here to play cards and if you want any chance at some tips, you should make an effort to be pleasant. I know you're getting paid regardless, but throw us a bone here. Then Irina took over for Tina. Eric tried to convince her he was part Russian as well, but even though she humored him, she didn't want to be mean by telling him that he's full of crap.

- As we braced ourselves for this crazy snowstorm on Saturday, we were dealing with rain for most of the day. First order of business was getting some lunch. Went to an old favorite: Sack O' Subs on Ventnor Ave. in Ventnor. Gotta love a greasy sandwich from Sack O's to get the day going. Before the weather got bad, we had to make a trip over to the Borgata. Had to prove to Eric that the casinos in AC weren't all shitty. The East Coasters received a small taste of Vegas back in July, 2003 when the Borgata opened. It draws the younger, classier crowd. You see more good looking people and less senior citizens with "World's Best Grandpop" sweatshirts on.

Because of the threat of the storm, Borgata was empty. In fact, I've never seen it this empty. A lot of people planned on coming down for the day or for the weekend and cancelled the trip. All the better for us as there were plenty of $10 and $15 tables for us low spenders. Believe it or not, we even came across 2 tables that were $5 minimums. I was astonished.

We played some Blackjack with dealer Janice for a little while, who looked like a 60 year old version of SNL's Rachel Dratch. Eric became known as the complainer of the table, so he responds with, "Come on, I'm Jewish. Complaining is what we do best." After dealer Janice was dealer Rob who was about 325 lbs thin. And he gets the award for being the 2nd most disgruntled dealer of the trip behind Tina. I don't know what was with this guy. You try to talk to him, strike up a conversation, ask a question, tell him to go to hell....no reaction from him. Besides the fact that he killed us several hands in a row, we decided to get up and try our luck elsewhere. Since it was becoming later in the afternoon, we were going to head back to Harrah's and keep ourselves there through the snowstorm. In other words, we'd be inside the casino, with no clocks, minimal windows, and plenty of gambling options during a potentially huge snow storm. This could be bad for business.

As it was said, "There could be worse places to be stuck during the snow." The rebuttle: "Yeah, but there could be cheaper places to be stuck also." Good point.

Commercial break: Time for the top 3 senior citizen accessories of the weekend, brought to you by Fixodent.

3. The guy with the walker who we saw right as we arrived on Friday night. He looked like the little old man who played the priest in Wedding Crashers.
2. The lady in the wheelchair who was being carted around by her daughter and son-in-law. Unlike Disney World, they didn't get to go to the front of the buffett line.
1. The guy sitting in the lobby area when you come in from the parking garage, with the oxygen tank. Here's a brilliant idea if you have emphysema: come to a casino where people smoke like chimneys. The whole place is a walking Philip Morris advertisement.
Honorable mention: The lady by the slot machine, riding in the motorized cart with hydraulics. I didn't see it, but Eric is convinced it had hydraulics. Let's take his word for it.

- So when we got back to Harrah's, hung out a little, watched some Winter Olympics coverage on NBC, made fun of the foreign athletes, relaxed for a few. But before we'd go to eat dinner, it was time to hit up the tables again. We went downstairs to the same section of tables that we had been to on Friday night and scoped out the scene. Like the Borgata, it was rather empty here too. Could only be to our advantage. We spotted a table that would likely have two open seats in the near future, since we overheard a couple make mention of upcoming dinner reservations. Combine that with some small stacks of chips and it was about time for us to sit down. Sure enough, it was our turn to sit down with dealer Jennifer (female asian - toughest dealers to play against. They seem pleasant, but they won't let you take them to the bank.) Turns out that we made the best decision of the weekend to sit down at this table on Saturday night at approximately 7pm. That's when Eric and I met David Longo, the most eccentric character of the weekend.

[With that, the RPR will return tomorrow with "The Weekend of David Longo, Part 2". In the meantime, have a pleasant Valentine's Day.]