Andy's Nuggets of Wisdom and Assorted Randomness

Monday night, and everyone knows what that means: Andy's checking in for his weekly nuggets of wisdom. There's a pretty obvious moral to the story this week...

"Tonight's Nugget: So this past weekend was the first annual 'Thrills in the Hills' in Clearfield. It was basically a motorcycle rally in the fairgrounds. They had food stands, displays, leather, and all the normal biker shit. Well they also had a wet t-shirt contest. At first I was really excited at seeing this, but then after seeing the participants, I knew that no good could come from this event. I stayed just until I managed to see about 10 fat girls topless, 2 decent girls topless, and then 2 nasty bitches making out. I was then scarred for life. My mom actually found me curled up in the fetal position in a cold shower crying the next day."

In case you didn't get it, the moral of the story is not to attend wet t-shirt contests at a motorcycle rally. Bad, bad idea.

- File this next story under the "Celebrities that get arrested while in towns not too far from where I currently live" file.... Remember DMX? Yeah the rapper who was made famous by his heavy beats, violent lyrics, and incessant barking, was arrested last week in White Plains, NY. I'm not really sure how he made it up to Westchester County, but he has a pretty good laundry list of felonies and misdemeanors going right now. Let's hear it for late-90's gangsta rap!

- Not too much to report on from the weekend. Didn't do a whole hell of a lot that was exciting, since it ended up being one of those 'run errands, watch TV, sit around and eat Trader Joe's pistachios' kinda weekends. The good news is that after about 8 months, I finally finished "Now I Can Die in Peace" by Bill Simmons (ESPN's The Sports Guy). I know more than I'd ever want to know about the 2004 Boston Red Sox -- and I'm not even a Red Sox fan. For the long time readers out there, you'll remember how excited I was to meet Simmons back in September at the book signing. Well, yeah, it took me forever to get through the book because I never get through books quickly.

You know those people who say, "I read that book in 3 days... I just couldn't put it down.." I'm not one of them. I constantly put them down, and then wait 3 weeks to pick them back up. Regardless, I'm on to my next book: "Freakonomics" by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner. It sounds pretty fascinating, and I hope to feel more intellectual while reading it. It helps supplement all the nonsense that I read about on the internet.

- Here's what I want to know: Who determined that all alarm clocks will have a snooze button that is set to go off 9 minutes later? Secondly, how can I sign up to become involved in such life-altering decisions like the snooze button?

- Don't get me wrong: I enjoy the nice, warm weather. But when I can't figure out if I have a cold or if my allergies are currently in kamikaze mode, then I'm not a happy camper. Let's face it... allergies and a cold have some of the same symptoms. I have the stuffy nose/constant cough combination going on right now. Any ideas?

- With that being said, I'm sure sleep can help. Back tomorrow.