Monday Night Short Post

When I was up at the Penn State for Homecoming back at the end of October, a few of us grabbed some lunch at Jimmy John's before heading up to the game. (For those of you who are unfamiliar, Jimmy John's is a sandwich chain, similar to Subway.) Anyway, they have a lot of stuff on the walls in the restaurant that's extremely random. Signs and pictures that just leave you scratching your head with their random nonsensicalities (?) Point of the story is that they had this one list titled "16 Things That It Took Me Over 50 Years to Learn" and I thought it was a great list. Sure enough, some 3 months later, this list surfaces in the form of a forwarded e-mail from the Jessica. It's blog-worthy, so I'm gonna go ahead and post it here:

16 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN:
by Dave Barry , Nationally Syndicated Columnist

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
7. Never lick a steak knife.
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can seean actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
13. A person who is nice to you but rude to a waiter is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
14. Your friends love you anyway.
15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
16. Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

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Courtesy of Bill Simmon's "Sports Guy's World" Quote of the Day:

"I told them we're bowl-eligible. We've got 7 wins." -- Larry Brown on his New Year's message to the Knicks

Larry Brown might have coaching commitment issues, but he's good for a funny comment every now and again.

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And since I have nothing else to add, let's hear it for the 10 year anniversary of the Blizzard of 1996 . Remember that one? It was a doozy. 30 inches of snow in the Philadelphia area and if I recall correctly, we ended up essentially getting another winter break from school because it took about 5 days to dig out of that mess. Ah, those were the days. Don't see storms like that anymore. Let's hear it for global warming!

Enjoy Tuesday, and don't forget, if you go to drop something in the mail, you need an extra 2 cents because the USPS raised postage to 39 cents. Otherwise, you'll have to deal with the wrath of your local disgruntled postal worker. In fact, here's a quick disgruntled postal worker story. At home in the Lafayette Hill, we used to have Postal Lady, Mary, deliver our mail for many years. She was always very pleasant, we left her a Christmas gift, you know, all that cordial stuff. Recently, she must have retired or what have you, and we have a new postal worker delivering the mail. Ok, now some background details. Since we'd have 3 cars at home when I'm in town, Mom and Dad's cars are parked in the driveway, and I park just past the top of the driveway in our little access road (it's cut off from the main street so you don't have to pull out of the driveway right into traffic.) Of course, I end up blocking the mailbox. So when I come home at night on those weekends, I'm usually reminded by Dad to pull the car on to the top of the driveway as to not block the mailbox. When I was home a couple weeks back, I forgot to move the car one night. Sure enough when she came to deliver the mail, she saw the mailbox was blocked and left a note saying she wouldn't deliver it unless we moved the car. What a bunch of horseshit. The postal workers will deliver mail is the rain, sleet, snow, and ice, but can't get out of their little mail truck and walk 5 steps to put a few envelopes in a mailbox. What a bitch. Just confirms the fact that the postal workers are among the 3 most disgruntled employees, right up there with folks at the DMV and Transit Workers in NYC.

Now I'm all pissed off. Good night.