Harry Potter cures Earth of all Problems

Here's a staggering statistic: 6.9 million copies of Harry Potter were sold within the first 24 hours of its release in the US. Another 2 million were sold in the UK. Think about that. Nearly 9 million books in one day. I didn't know we had that many literate people in these countries. Now I have to be honest here - I used to rip on the whole Harry Potter thing because I just didn't get it. I still don't get it, and still have no interest in that nonsense, but I've realized that J.K. Rowling is no dumbshit. She struck it rich with this idea and drilling deeper and deeper into the oil well. The author is set for life and probably has no need to continue the story past the 7th edition.

I'm a big fan of consumerism. I'm always interested in what people are buying and why certain items sell well. (Maybe I need to divert my career path toward something related to market research.) Anyway, one of the biggest keys to success is marketing toward children. Now this isn't any groundbreaking news here, but I'll elaborate. Rowling has her little wizard and sorcerer junk written and these little (and big) bastards keep running out and pay shelling out $20-$30 for the books. Not only has she roped them in, but everyone sees how popular they are. Say a couple has a kid who is 2 or 3 years old. You don't think they'll be out there buying those books in a few years when little Johnny and Emily is learning to read? How about in 10 years when others are having kids and one Harry Potter book is on the shelf? Boom - another kid eventually roped into the magical world of Hogwarts and all that other crap.

Now I'm a big advocate of giving credit where it's due. And regardless of the fact that I can't understand why anyone would waste their time on a 700 page book, if Rowling has hit it big, then she must be doing something right. I've never been one to think that just because an item is a big seller means that it's quality. Need I remind everyone that a group called N'Sync once set a record by selling 2.4 million copies of its "No Strings Attached" album the first week it was on sale in March, 2000? Look where they ended up. It could be a fad. I'd doubt it with Harry Potter since literature tends to be more timeless than pop music. Now that could be a statement that people might argue with, and to be honest, I didn't really think about it that much when I just typed it. But let me continue with my flow of thought. Pop music trends rise and fall much quicker than literature trends. Wizards, sorcerers, and quiddich (sp?) might not fade away as fast since people have been reading these types of stories for ages. People will not always look back fondly upon NSync or the Backstreet Boys, but Harry will always have a special place in their heart.

Ok, so I didn't really give Rowling as much credit in the last paragraph as I thought I would when I wrote the first sentence. And I still have a tough time grasping this whole idea. There are more kids and adolescents that have Attention Deficit Disorder now than ever, and yet one author can chain them to a 700 page book which they page through in the span of 36 hours. (By the way, if the book was released on Friday night and people have already completed it, that makes me nauseous. It takes me 2 weeks to get through a 100 page magazine, and most of that is advertisements.) So, she's essentially curing the world of ADD and making lots of money too. I have to believe that it's only a matter of time before the makers of Ritalin file a lawsuit. The parents love it because it shuts the kids up. The schools love it because it encourages reading for pleasure. The book stores love it because their sales go through the roof. Hollywood loves it because every kid that reads the damn book goes to see the movie. And then Mom and Dad must then see the movie too because the kid is too young to go to the theater by him/herself. Hey, the movie's doing well, and then the movie theater companies are doing well...other companies advertise with Harry Potter and their product does well. Everybody wins.

What's the point here? Rowling could have written anything. She could have written about politics, history, sports, and even random bullshit like me. But she chose the right story directed to the right audience at a time when it seems like every 33 year old man and woman has 2.5 little kids who need to go by a book at 12:01 a.m. on the day it comes out and then sit in a tent for the next 36 hours, confined to one spot like a fugitive stuck in a manhole while the authorites send a whole army looking for him. She isn't stupid. Even though you can read the interviews about how much she loves the story and hates the thought of ending it in her next and final edition, you know that she's laughing on the inside all the way to the Royal Bank of England with the army of children and adults that she's brainwashed and drawn into her cult.

I just don't get the whole phenomenon. I have no interest in reading the books, although every fan tells me that I need to read them. Well screw you, I am anti-establishment. I am not reading the books, no way, no how, never. I saw the first movie one time. I turned it off after 1 hour because I was bored out of my mind. I'd rather learn something in a book rather than read about fantasy land. I read books about guys from MIT who took Vegas for millions with their blackjack schemes ("Bringing Down the House" by Ben Mezrich") or about the rise and fall of Wall Street in the 80's ("Liar's Poker" by Michael Lewis") or about the famous Gonzo-journalism and the reality of Las Vegas in the late-1960's ("Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" by the late Hunter S. Thompson). This is my type of reading - slightly off the wall and about topics that interest me. I'm not discounting Harry Potter because there's obviously a much larger audience for that book than such fine reads that I choose. I'm just saying it's not for me and if I hear one more person tell me "I need to read it", then I may cast a spell of my own and fly away on a broomstick.

All I know is one thing: Rowling knows exactly what she's doing with this Harry Potter enterprise and it's taken the world by storm. Another thing is for sure, her initials J.K. definitely do not stand for "Just Kidding".