Back in Action

Yeah, I admit it... I punked out last night. It's ok, I'm allowed to do that every now and again. But I'm back and let's see if I can entertain you today after the disappointment from yesterday.

- First off, some comedy from Andy F. I see this as his away message: "It is really hard to work with someone that used to be a stripper, I kept trying to picture her naked all day...that made for a very long day." I got a good chuckle out of that one, so I ask him what the story is. He elaborates that "this is the truth. This one teller that was training at my office today used to be a stripper. So, of course I just sat there and thought about it all day, even contemplated seeing what she would do if I played 'My Humps' or something suggestive...Would she take her clothes off instinctively? I wanted to find out." This is fascinating. I wondered if this girl had been out of the business for a while, and Andy commented that she's only 22, so she must be right out of the stripping circuit. And now she's working at a bank? Andy, one question that comes to mind is how did it come up that she used to be a stripper?

It's not uncommon for people to change careers. Sure, happens all the time. But we are always fascinated when some in the adult industry decides to turn things around and get into a career that would be considered more "mainstream". Hey, maybe the girl did this because she needed money to get through school. You see that on HBO all the time. Maybe she was just being a rebel from her parents and did this out of spite. You never know what the full story is. And hey, if people are making an honest living, can't make any complaints about that. Now she's working at the bank.

Andy this has endless possibilities, dude. In fact, we need to discuss some periodic updates. The audience and I are now wondering what her story is, what baggage she's carrying, and of course, any great "trade" stories, if you will. I'm sure she's encountered some folks that are a little out of the ordinary, and might make for some good blogging. Find out some more, my friend, and we could make this an ongoing feature. We could even give her a code name like Bunny or Candy or Delicious.

- If anyone ever tells you that a spinning (cycling) class at a gym is easy, don't believe them. I gave it a go this weekend as I joined the Jessica at her gym. This female instructor was about 5'4" of solid muscle she's ranks up there in the "Pantheon of Black People I Wouldn't Want to Meet in a Dark Alley" along with Yolanda, Joey Porter, and the Reverend Jesse Jackson. Ok I made that last one up, but this girl was scary. First she calls me out as being new to the class after I didn't respond to her asking the class if anyone was there for the first time. So I was honest with her and told her I hadn't done spinning before.

I was going at my own pace for most of the workout after I quickly realized that I wasn't going to be able to keep up with Miss Drill Instructor. I was huffing and puffing after about 5 minutes, which isn't good news considering it's a 45 minute class. I was doing alright for the most part, sweating like a whore in church, until a felt a sharp, shooting pain in my left calf muscle and that was pretty much the end of it for me. The instructor came to ask me if I was alright and although I was hurting for a few minutes, I managed to make it out of the room, and was then officially known as the assclown who couldn't handle the spinning class. I didn't bail out voluntarily. Turns out I'm pretty sure that I mildly strained my calf, since all of the symptoms point toward that diagnosis.

I am feeling a little better, but still have some discomfort (thanks for all of the sympathy that you're feeling for me right now). Like I said before, I have all the respect in the world for the participants of the spinning classes -- they aren't easy. I especially give credit to the Jessica, who was a rockstar at spinning. She did an excellent job. As for me, I think I'll stick to running next time and let the spinning classes go around and around without me.

- I thought I had enough of "The Apprentice". Then I go ahead and watch the premiere of Season 5. And even though it's Donald's same shenanigans for the fifth time, I watched it anyway. I had to check out the new cast of characters. No one really impressed me all that much. Really, it's a bunch of overachievers who ended up becoming entrepreneurs and making all sorts of money but have some odd desire to work in the Trump Organization. Of course, now I have to see what happens as it looks like we have a few loose cannons this season, and things always get interesting when the cast members go ballistic. Always make for good television. More on this next week.

- In other TV news, I am now all caught up on "Entourage". What a fantastic show. Honestly, the major networks need to take some lessons from HBO when it comes to quality of original programming. I will place "Entourage" third on my list of Favorite HBO shows, behind "The Sopranos" and "Curb Your Enthusiasm", because these two have been longtime favorites of mine. I'd like to reiterate that the acting, writing, and production of the show is excellent and the wittiness of the dialogue is sharper than a new set of knives from Ron Popeil.

Everyone has to love the characters, especially Ari Gold, and I think part of the reason that this show is such a hit is because we wish we could live the lives of these guys. We want to be either the movie star or the movie star's best friend. We want to be the guys who reap the benefits of our best friend becoming famous. We want to be the guy who is the movie star's agent and can talk back to anyone, any time, anywhere. These are fascinating lives to us, especially since they can spend money anyhow they want, go out to nice meals all the time, buy expensive clothes and electronics, and live like kings. We want to be members of the entourage. And unless you have a friend/sibling that has a chance to become a big movie star, or have the intestinal fortitude to be the "balls to the wall" agent someday, then best we can do is follow their lives on HBO and enjoy every minute of it. Looking forward to Season 3.

- Ok I'll say it: It's been f'ing cold here lately. Low temps of 15 degrees at night are not fun. I walk from the parking lot at work into the building and I feel like my ears are gonna fall off. Someone needs to do something about this.

- I hate people that just stop their car in the middle of traffic, but think it's ok because they put the four-way flashers on. No, it's not ok. You now have a line of traffic behind you who is trying to move over to the next lane, except no one will let any of these cars in. All because your ass was too lazy to find a parking lot around the corner and had to just "pull over" in the middle of oncoming traffic. Man, I wish I had the balls to do something like that. Or might I possess something this person does not: consideration.

- I have 4 items to add to the "Things That Annoy Me" list:

• Constant coverage of Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton, and other celebs who have no claim to fame.
• People at work who thank you for doing something that you haven't actually done yet. Example: "Can you please send me the so-and-so file? Thanks" How about thanking me after I've done it? It's like saying thanks gives the person no choice but to give in to your request. What if I didn't send the so-and-so file? Would you still be thanking me? Doubtful.
• Constant coverage of the Yankees. Let's review: I can't stand the Yankees. I'm already tired of hearing about Johnny Damon. And no one cares who A-Rod plays for in the World Baseball Classic or whether he plays. Lastly, I hope Steinbrenner ruined their season with his comments last week in which he basically guaranteed the Yankees would win the World Series this year.
• "American Idol". America doesn't need 3 nights in a row of "American Idol". I would rather punish myself by attending another spinning class.

That's all I have for now. I will return tomorrow with more.