How do I come up with 500 words on The Hills?

- Owen inquired last week as to whether or not I was following The Hills, and if so, how come I hadn't commented on it recently. The answer in short is yes I've been watching, and I didn't really have a good answer why I hadn't posted any commentary on the RPR. Basically, the show is just beyond ridiculous. Each and every story is like fantasy world, and I just found myself staring at the television in disbelief after every episode.

I do have some comments after Wednesday night's episode though. The break-up between Heidi and Jordan was anything but surprising, especially after the show was edited to air clips of them fighting in 3 or 4 episodes prior to this one. Then, all we see is Heidi get pissed off because Jordan raised his voice to her and she goes crying to Audrina (side note: how many name combos can you come up with to create "Audrina"? Is this a record? I think it's a combo of Audrey, Adrian, Adriana, Christina and Katarina. Someone needs to keep track of things like this.)

Then, 5 minutes later, we see that she's packed up all of his stuff, and there were plenty of boxes in that apartment that she was giving back to him, and he comes over for the shocker. Can you imagine that -- you arrive at your significant other's apartment, and he/she already has your stuff packed up in boxes, and then says, "we're done". There wasn't even any debate. Seemed a little ridiculous to me. I got confused and thought Heidi herself was moving out. The only thing that would have been better if she threw all of Jordan's stuff out on to Hollywood Blvd and his Von Deutsch hat and old school Kobe Bryant jersey got run over by a souped up Honda Civic.

In the end, I wondered for a moment if Heidi and Jordan's relationship was as dysfunctional as Lauren and Jason's. Then, I realized that nothing can hold a candle to the absurdity of Lauren and Jason's relationship. When Jordan arrives back at his apartment, Jason and Brian try to "comfort" him, only as well as guys in California can do. "Dude... like... I'm sooo shocked right now.... dude" and "Dude, you guys were like Ken and Barbie. We based our relationship on yours.... dude". I was waiting for Jordan to start crying, because you know the other two guys would have given him a hard time for it, even though they would have cried too. Regardless, it ranked up there on the awkwardness scale. The only thing that would topped this is if Jason recommended that they go to the local plastic surgeon's office to pick up some chick who is all doped up on Vicodin after getting a boob job. Surely wouldn't have surprised me.

One thing I noticed, and ended up being very predictable was the use of The Fray's "How to Save a Life" toward the end to communicate the feeling of sadness. This song is the hot "sad song" for TV shows recently. It's taking the place of Coldplay's "Fix You", and before that, Five for Fighting's "100 Years". Surely, the networks will find a way to work James Blunt into the mix sometime soon as well.

Sadly, the season finale is next week, and the cliffhanger is that Lauren gets an offer to go to Paris for work, but she could possibly be living with Jason for the summer and this may jeopardize their relationship. What, oh what, in the world will happen?

- On a side note, Andy though it'd be appropriate if I mentioned the recent news about Lance Bass announcing that he's gay. I don't really see this as being a huge news story, and as I read on some website today, this is about as surprising as Michael Jackson announcing that he's a pedophile. Of course, a more interesting story would be if the other members of N'Sync all came out of the closet as well. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

- Programming note: Check the RPR on Friday morning for the last post from the Stamford Homestead. Not that the post will really have anything to do with Stamford, per se, but it's worth mentioning.