"We Live in NYC and We Heart Celebs!"

So I get a phone call tonight from Jessica right after she left some event sponsored by Readers' Digest and just like any other time she's out with her girlfriends, all you really hear is background noise and screaming. Anyway, once I was able to actually hear her, she mentioned that they had some celebrity sightings while at some oxygen bar. (Honestly, who goes to an oxygen bar? I guess if you live in Manhattan, you'll need some clean air every now again since that island is a living, breathing, environmental disaster area.) Jessica says, "Alexis wants to tell you about her celebrity sightings."

I promised Alexis I'd give her some positive press after I made fun of her in a post about 2 weekends ago. So here's what transcribed:

"I was near the oxygen bar and I noticed that I was standing right next to Maggie Gyllenhaal. So I was just talking to her asking if she tried the oxygen and she's like,' No, I haven't.' And I introduced myself and I played it really cool. Then, we saw Alicia Keys and went up to her and said hi and mentioned that we were big fans. We asked her for a picture, but she said no, and I felt like an ass. Then, the best part was that we saw Christian Slater. My co-workers dared me to jump on him in a straddle position, but I didn't think that was a good idea. So instead I just went up and said hi and introduced myself again. I felt like an ass. But overall, it was a fun evening. 3 celebrities and I felt like an ass twice."

It doesn't seem to me like she made an ass of herself, but then again I wasn't there, nor can I read the mind of the celebrity on hand. So Alexis, the readers of the Ross Press Release ask for your comments to better justify the story and tell us how you made a fool of yourself...

My comments: I'm not sure I know who Maggie Gyllenhall is. Isn't she married to another actor? That's all that rings a bell. Next, what is Alicia Keys' problem? If you agree to go to an event, you know people are going to be there with cameras. Don't be a bitch and decline when a few people ask for a quite snapshot. By the way, your music blows. And Christian Slater...wasn't he almost sent to jail recently? Keep him away from the alcohol and give him some oxygen to cool this guy down. I hope Alexis isn't in the New York Post on Friday morning as the next woman Christian Slater gropes in public. That'd be bad for business.

So there ya go...as always, if my readers ask for some press, I oblige and give you a nice little write-up. Plus, I've been thinking of some other topics for articles, but none of them have come to fruition this evening. I was going to do a rant on the latest with the Philadelphia Eagles' Jesus himself, Terrell Owens, but I'm more curious to see what happens at the end of next week when he's supposed to report to training camp in Lehigh. So I'll hold off and bitch if he decides to stay at home, and express my overall surprise if he decides to get his head out of his ass and show up on time. Also, I've been brainstorming the "Corporate Buzz Word" article as suggested by the man, Owen Parrish. I'll try to get to that one next week for sure.

Going to see "Wedding Crashers" on Friday night. Everyone says it's the funniest movie of the summer. I have a feeling I'll say the same. Honestly, anytime you have a movie with any combination of Vince Vaughn, Luke/Owen Wilson (whoa, I mentioned 3 "Owens" tonight, that's a rarity), Ben Stiller, and Will Ferrell, then you're in for a comedy treat. My initial reaction is that I'll laugh my ass off. I'll let you know if that occurs after the weekend.

Speaking of laughing your ass off, I almost crashed the car this morning because of how funny the segment of Howard Stern was from 7:20-7:50am. They were first talking about how Scotty from Star Trek died, and then they started playing all of this old prank phone calls from George Takai ("Sulu"). Then they played a more recent prank phone call from Mike Walker (Gossip Columnist for some tabloid). Words can't describe how funny these calls are when they take audio clips from these guys and piece them together in absurd sentences, and call some guy in Arkansas or Kentucky. Absolutely hi-larious.

Many of you may know that I have an eclectic music taste. I enjoy some heavy music every now and again. And when it comes to System of a Down, oh man, it's pretty heavy at times. Loving their new disc, Mezmerize. If you enjoy their quirkiness, heavy metal riffs, and bizarre lyrical antics, check out the following tracks: "B.Y.O.B.", "Cigaros", and "Radio/Video".

That's it for now. Enjoy the Friday, and if you go out for Happy Hour tomorrow, remember one thing: "Happy Hour...why only an hour?"