RPR Commentary: That's What I Do

Random commentary for this evening... let's see what I can come up with. (I tell myself I'm gonna do a commentary posting, but I really only have about 2 comments to make and just swag the rest.)

- Since I always have comments about TV shows, might as well mention the "hot" game show on NBC, "Deal or No Deal". Has anyone seen this? First off, I have to say it might be the dumbest game show ever. I don't mean dumb in the sense that it's a waste of time, but dumb in the sense that you don't need any intelligence to play. It's a glorified version of Press Your Luck, where you pick different boxes with increments of money ranging from $0.01 to $1 million. So you choose one box to be yours and then keep picking other boxes, hoping to eliminate the small money increments and keep the higher ones. In the meantime, depending on the amounts that are left, this guy in a shadow, known as "The Banker" offers you a take-home amount if you choose to leave right now. Of course these clowns keep pressing their luck and emphatically yell, "No Deal!" when given the option.

One guy on Monday night actually took home around $350,000. Then some lady tonight took home $5. I guess that's the breaks. Even though it's a pretty simple game, it had me on the edge of my seat, and I may even watch it again tomorrow. For those of you watching on Tuesday night, how about the lady who brought the whole church choir with her? If that's not good for some unintentional laughs, then I don't know what is.

- New band to check out: Tapes 'N Tapes, up-and-coming alt rockers from Minneapolis. They are gaining a lot of attention in the blogging community, especially after they blew away 3 NYC shows back in early January. I finally got ahold of their full-length album, The Loon, which I had to send away for, by the way. You can't find the record in stores or on iTunes, so I had to order it from their website.

The great part is that it came to me in a brown envelope, the address hand-written, actual stamps placed on the envelope (as opposed to being metered), and the return address wasn't a distribution warehouse or anything -- it was an apartment in Minneapolis. How great is that? These guys probably have boxes and boxes of CD's sitting around and are running a mini-FedEx/Kinko's out of their apartment. Talk about humility. Any case, the record is fantastic. Very eclectic sound that I can't seem to describe very well, so I'll instead let the reviewer from Pitchfork do the explaining. Pitchfork gave the record 8.3 out of 10, and for their website, that's very impressive.

Side note: Although I don't watch the OC, I read that the Tapes 'N Tapes song "Manitoba" was on the most recent episode. Let's face it: The OC is the latest hot breeding ground for new musical talent. As much as it hurt me to type that last sentence, it's true.

- Here's something I always wondered about: Why don't newstands and convenience stores just give away newspapers at the end of the day? How many times have you walked by some establishment that sells newspapers and they have a stack of that day's paper just sitting there? Yes, I do understand that they most likely give the old papers back to the distributors for recycling, but I think if a newspaper is looking to increase its readership, even by a little, why not give free papers after, let's say 7pm, when most of the news is old. This way, people who ride the subways/buses/trains on the way home can read some news, or maybe the commuters can bring the paper home with them to read later on.

Ok, since I play Devil's Advocate with myself, another good point is that you can get the news online any time and it'll always be up-to-date. Granted. But the old fashioned part of me likes to physically read the newspaper, which I never do, save for when I am at home and get to read the good ole Philadelphia Inquirer. With a hardcopy of the paper, I can do the crossword puzzle, or rip out articles I want to save, or maybe people can tear out coupons.

Anyway, I know this isn't the strongest argument I've ever had, but too many times I walk by a newstand and there are dozens of papers that will go unread, and I'd gladly take a copy if give the chance. Would I pay the quarter or $0.50? Probably not. It's not about the money. I can spare the change. It's about the principle. Anyone follow what I'm saying here?

- And that's all I really have for today. Check back tomorrow and we'll see what pops up.

Back in Action

Yeah, I admit it... I punked out last night. It's ok, I'm allowed to do that every now and again. But I'm back and let's see if I can entertain you today after the disappointment from yesterday.

- First off, some comedy from Andy F. I see this as his away message: "It is really hard to work with someone that used to be a stripper, I kept trying to picture her naked all day...that made for a very long day." I got a good chuckle out of that one, so I ask him what the story is. He elaborates that "this is the truth. This one teller that was training at my office today used to be a stripper. So, of course I just sat there and thought about it all day, even contemplated seeing what she would do if I played 'My Humps' or something suggestive...Would she take her clothes off instinctively? I wanted to find out." This is fascinating. I wondered if this girl had been out of the business for a while, and Andy commented that she's only 22, so she must be right out of the stripping circuit. And now she's working at a bank? Andy, one question that comes to mind is how did it come up that she used to be a stripper?

It's not uncommon for people to change careers. Sure, happens all the time. But we are always fascinated when some in the adult industry decides to turn things around and get into a career that would be considered more "mainstream". Hey, maybe the girl did this because she needed money to get through school. You see that on HBO all the time. Maybe she was just being a rebel from her parents and did this out of spite. You never know what the full story is. And hey, if people are making an honest living, can't make any complaints about that. Now she's working at the bank.

Andy this has endless possibilities, dude. In fact, we need to discuss some periodic updates. The audience and I are now wondering what her story is, what baggage she's carrying, and of course, any great "trade" stories, if you will. I'm sure she's encountered some folks that are a little out of the ordinary, and might make for some good blogging. Find out some more, my friend, and we could make this an ongoing feature. We could even give her a code name like Bunny or Candy or Delicious.

- If anyone ever tells you that a spinning (cycling) class at a gym is easy, don't believe them. I gave it a go this weekend as I joined the Jessica at her gym. This female instructor was about 5'4" of solid muscle she's ranks up there in the "Pantheon of Black People I Wouldn't Want to Meet in a Dark Alley" along with Yolanda, Joey Porter, and the Reverend Jesse Jackson. Ok I made that last one up, but this girl was scary. First she calls me out as being new to the class after I didn't respond to her asking the class if anyone was there for the first time. So I was honest with her and told her I hadn't done spinning before.

I was going at my own pace for most of the workout after I quickly realized that I wasn't going to be able to keep up with Miss Drill Instructor. I was huffing and puffing after about 5 minutes, which isn't good news considering it's a 45 minute class. I was doing alright for the most part, sweating like a whore in church, until a felt a sharp, shooting pain in my left calf muscle and that was pretty much the end of it for me. The instructor came to ask me if I was alright and although I was hurting for a few minutes, I managed to make it out of the room, and was then officially known as the assclown who couldn't handle the spinning class. I didn't bail out voluntarily. Turns out I'm pretty sure that I mildly strained my calf, since all of the symptoms point toward that diagnosis.

I am feeling a little better, but still have some discomfort (thanks for all of the sympathy that you're feeling for me right now). Like I said before, I have all the respect in the world for the participants of the spinning classes -- they aren't easy. I especially give credit to the Jessica, who was a rockstar at spinning. She did an excellent job. As for me, I think I'll stick to running next time and let the spinning classes go around and around without me.

- I thought I had enough of "The Apprentice". Then I go ahead and watch the premiere of Season 5. And even though it's Donald's same shenanigans for the fifth time, I watched it anyway. I had to check out the new cast of characters. No one really impressed me all that much. Really, it's a bunch of overachievers who ended up becoming entrepreneurs and making all sorts of money but have some odd desire to work in the Trump Organization. Of course, now I have to see what happens as it looks like we have a few loose cannons this season, and things always get interesting when the cast members go ballistic. Always make for good television. More on this next week.

- In other TV news, I am now all caught up on "Entourage". What a fantastic show. Honestly, the major networks need to take some lessons from HBO when it comes to quality of original programming. I will place "Entourage" third on my list of Favorite HBO shows, behind "The Sopranos" and "Curb Your Enthusiasm", because these two have been longtime favorites of mine. I'd like to reiterate that the acting, writing, and production of the show is excellent and the wittiness of the dialogue is sharper than a new set of knives from Ron Popeil.

Everyone has to love the characters, especially Ari Gold, and I think part of the reason that this show is such a hit is because we wish we could live the lives of these guys. We want to be either the movie star or the movie star's best friend. We want to be the guys who reap the benefits of our best friend becoming famous. We want to be the guy who is the movie star's agent and can talk back to anyone, any time, anywhere. These are fascinating lives to us, especially since they can spend money anyhow they want, go out to nice meals all the time, buy expensive clothes and electronics, and live like kings. We want to be members of the entourage. And unless you have a friend/sibling that has a chance to become a big movie star, or have the intestinal fortitude to be the "balls to the wall" agent someday, then best we can do is follow their lives on HBO and enjoy every minute of it. Looking forward to Season 3.

- Ok I'll say it: It's been f'ing cold here lately. Low temps of 15 degrees at night are not fun. I walk from the parking lot at work into the building and I feel like my ears are gonna fall off. Someone needs to do something about this.

- I hate people that just stop their car in the middle of traffic, but think it's ok because they put the four-way flashers on. No, it's not ok. You now have a line of traffic behind you who is trying to move over to the next lane, except no one will let any of these cars in. All because your ass was too lazy to find a parking lot around the corner and had to just "pull over" in the middle of oncoming traffic. Man, I wish I had the balls to do something like that. Or might I possess something this person does not: consideration.

- I have 4 items to add to the "Things That Annoy Me" list:

• Constant coverage of Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton, and other celebs who have no claim to fame.
• People at work who thank you for doing something that you haven't actually done yet. Example: "Can you please send me the so-and-so file? Thanks" How about thanking me after I've done it? It's like saying thanks gives the person no choice but to give in to your request. What if I didn't send the so-and-so file? Would you still be thanking me? Doubtful.
• Constant coverage of the Yankees. Let's review: I can't stand the Yankees. I'm already tired of hearing about Johnny Damon. And no one cares who A-Rod plays for in the World Baseball Classic or whether he plays. Lastly, I hope Steinbrenner ruined their season with his comments last week in which he basically guaranteed the Yankees would win the World Series this year.
• "American Idol". America doesn't need 3 nights in a row of "American Idol". I would rather punish myself by attending another spinning class.

That's all I have for now. I will return tomorrow with more.

The RPR Will Return Tomorrow

Please check back tomorrow for a new RPR post. Calling it an early night and thus the RPR gets bumped in favor of additional sleep. Come on... you'd choose the same trade-off if given the choice.

Thursday Night Short Post

A few quick items for Thursday night/Friday morning:

- Hey, remember when Dave Chappelle went AWOL when they were supposed to be writing/filming Season 3 of The Chappelle Show? He supposedly couldn't handle the pressure and instead fled to Africa, potentially ending his relationship with Comedy Central. Well, here we are many months later, and there's a preview clip of the upcoming Season 3 that looks very funny. Personally, I think the MTV Cribs skit and the Gary Coleman skit look to be high comedy, and of course he'll bring back the old Rick James and Lil Jon skits that everyone loves. Good to see that Chappelle got his act together to keep the show going. Thanks to Jared for passing on the link.

- Here's another video clip which proves why it's a bad idea to put a cat on a leash. It's amazing how many ridiculous clips like this are on the internet. Seriously, before the internet, all we had was Bob Saget on America's Funniest Home Videos. We've come a long way...

- Interesting article about how Best Buy is beating the system by selling independent artists' albums for way below wholesale. They can do this through co-op campaigns, whereby "labels exchange money or extra CD's for prominent placement in stores, bulk initial orders, sale pricing, and advertising presence", which allows BB to sell certain discs for less than $10. A lot of the independent record stores and small record labels were freaking out over this, but what Best Buy was doing is considered completely legal, and in my opinion, a smart business strategy. If you're interested in various aspects of the workings of the music industry, check out the article.

That's it for this week. I'm in the city this weekend, just hangin out with not too much on the agenda. Good news: Finally get to catch up on Entourage, since the Jessica and I will finish off the last 7 episodes of Season 2, and thus be up-to-date for whenever Season 3 returns. Gotta love the HBO Original Series. It's not TV, it's HBO. Remember that.

Have a pleasant weekend.

Titles Might Be Tougher to Come Up With Than the Actual Post

- In the big news of the day, they have found the winners of the PowerBall $365 million jackpot. Turns out that it was split by 8 workers of a meat processing plant in Lincoln, Nebraska. Well, you know what... good for them. Some blue-collar folks who can now live the high life. Remember a few years back when some millionaire in West Virginia hit the PowerBall? There's an example of a guy who probably didn't need more millions on top of those that he has. For these factory workers, they ended up taking home, after taxes, about $15 million a piece and I think that's fantastic. Two of them are Vietnamese immigrants and another is from central Africa. Maybe they can bring their families over to America to live a better life. They all have the extreme privilege of retiring way ahead of schedule. All the power to them. Must be nice to have that much money...

- As you guys know, I'm always searching for new music, and I've haven't really found any new bands lately that really peak my interest. I need some new band to check into. Some of the indie stuff is a little too indie for me, and some of the mainstream stuff is a little too mainstream. I'm being vague here because I wanna see what you'll throw at me...

- I need to plead with the readers of the RPR for article ideas and/or offers to write guest postings. I'm not gonna lie to you: I'm having bloggers' block. Really having trouble coming up with decent stuff to write about these days. I mean, let's be serious: my life isn't all that exciting. I sit in an office all day, and then I come home, hopefully get my ass to the gym, make some dinner, watch a little bit of TV, chat with the Jessica, and then try to come up with some blogging before I call it a night. So let's just say that the atmosphere surrounding me isn't exactly conducive to what we'd call a "thrilling lifestyle". That's why I need your help. Give me some ideas for articles, things you'd like my comments on, or even give me an idea for a Top 10 list of sorts. (I'm still sorting through my Top 10 Favorite Albums of the 90's.) And I know some of you would be good guest columnists. Write about whatever you want... doesn't matter to me. Takes about as long as writing an email to a friend. Keep it to a couple of paragraphs; believe me, it doesn't have to be a novel. Appreciate your help, because I'm in a dry spell here and need to kick the blog up a notch.

Hey the week's almost over. Let's hear it for 4 day weeks. Enjoy Thursday.

Light Entertainment for Your Enjoyment

Since I can't come up with anything of much substance, I turn to my typical back-up plan: scouring the internet for interesting links that can provide the readers with some light entertainment for a short time. Here we go...

- Why are movie producers filming more and more in Canada? Because its cheaper, you don't have to deal with the crazy unions in the US, and the Canadian Government actually subsidizes foreign film makers a portion of their labor costs. So the next time you watch a movie and think that it's taking place in New York City or some town in the Midwest, you'll be shocked to know that it was actually filmed in Toronto or Vancouver.

- Regardless of the fact that the Winter Olympics are currently taking place in Italy, the athletes are now complaining that the food they're being served in the Olympic village is not up to par. Well, let's see... you have more than 1,000 athletes being served 3 meals per day, and my guess is that they probably need a few more people cooking. But what do you expect? Did they want a fine, five course Italian meal any time they want it? Granted, these athletes should be given some decent food, but you aren't going to please everyone. Like the famous saying goes... You can please all of the people some of the time. You can please some of the people all of the time. But you can never please all of the people all of the time. I think Abraham Lincoln said that. I could be making that up, but you get the idea. You have athletes coming from North America, Europe, and Asia... do you really think they could cater to everyone? My guess is no. Let's not complain that your country is footing the bill for you to be there. Take the food for what it's worth and go win some gold.

- I love Philadelphia. I really do. But promos like this, although they have the right intentions, really make it too easy for others to make fun of the City of Brotherly love. (We'll deem this one my Link of the Day.)

- Uh-oh.... there's plenty of people out there who think that MySpace is Bad news, with a capital 'B'. (Several links behind that link). Many of the articles have the premise that a bunch of child molesters are being led to victims through MySpace sites. Just another heartwarming story. I always report all of the good news here on the RPR!

- Darren Daulton was one of my favorite baseball players when I was growing now. Now we find out that the former Phillies' catcher is going a little cuckoo.

- See what happens when the winner of the $365 million PowerBall doesn't come forward? You get these assclowns from a radio station in Colorado making prank calls to the officials claiming to possess the winning ticket. Will someone please bring this person forward already? Or at least give them a deadline before they throw all the money back into the pot and do another drawing. This is getting ridiculous.

That oughta keep you busy for a little while. Enjoy, and if you ever come across any good links that would be good to be posted for everyone reading the RPR, feel free to send them along. If you really like the bizarre stories, there's plenty more to read at Fark.

A Day Off to Celebrate the Guys on our Money?

The title describes exactly what this day was, but who am I to complain over a day off? After having to work on Martin Luther King Day, while many others had the day off, I enjoyed this Monday off while others around the country were at work or school. Hey, it all works out in the end. I just can't figure out why Presidents' Day is so big in the New York area. The schools have the whole week off, and this is just 6 weeks after the Winter Break and 6 weeks before the Spring Break. That sounds like they definitely have more breaks than we ever did in the Philadelphia area. But what can you do? That's all water under the bridge for me.

It was a relaxing weekend with not too much to report on. In fact, I really didn't do anything at all and it was fantastic. Watched some TV, caught up on some reading...slept. Yes, definitely caught up on the sleep. I always say that I'm not one who needs a ton of plans on the agenda. I'm perfectly fine with hanging out and having the whole calendar empty. So now I feel refreshed, ready for the work week, and am still searching for the reasons why the 3 days off went so quickly.

- I caught some of the NBA All-Star Saturday Night on TNT, and of course, Charles Barkley had some great comments during the Slam Dunk competition, as we've come to expect from Sir Charles. Some of my favorites...

Commenting on on Knicks guard Nate Robinson: "If he's really 5'9", then I'm skinny."

Again, commenting on Robinson: "He really can't get all that depressed about missing these dunks... after all, he's playing on the Knicks."

Commenting on the Hawks' Josh Smith and the ridiculous dunks that he was attempting: "He's got as good of a chance of making that dunk as Dick Cheney has of finding a new hunting partner."

Gotta love Barkley's honesty and wit. He's a finalist for this year's NBA Hall of Fame class and definitely has my vote (not that it counts, but if it did, he'd have it).

- Anyone see this new Pepsi commercial with Jimmy Fallon and Parker Posey dancing around like a couple of crazies? The commercial itself isn't all that innovative, but the song is an extremely catchy electronic tune. And since I enjoy the challenge of finding out exactly what these songs are, I've already completed the research and found that it's called "Streamline" by Newton.

- Winter Olympic events that I didn't plan on watching, but ended up enjoying:

a) 2 Man Bobsled - must be fun to ride in that thing...
b) Short Track & Long Track Speedskating - like track and field, but on skates...
c) Normal Hill & Large Hill Ski Jumping - now that's gotta be a rush when you're flying like that...

- Winter Olympic events that I could probably do without:

a) Ice Dancing - except for the highlights of the falls...those are priceless.
b) US Men's Hockey - with that performance, they should have just taken the 2 weeks off from the NHL and gone on vacation to their Minnesota lake cabins...
c) Snowboarding - The skiing I like, but if I wanted snowboarding on the half-pipe, I'd watch the Winter X Games on ESPN...

- I'll never understand these people who win the PowerBall Lottery and then wait several days before turning themselves in as the winner. The latest PowerBall went for $365 million, the officials know the ticket was sold in Nebraska, and yet no one has come forward. This makes no sense to me. I know that on the occasions that I've bought lottery tickets for the PowerBall for sh*ts and giggles, I'm checking the numbers as soon as they are announced. You mean to tell me that someone buys a ticket and then either (a) forgets they have it as it sits on their desk, countertop, or in their jacket pocket; or (b) checks it, but not carefully enough as they think they've lost and have thrown the winning ticket in the trash can. I don't buy it. And we're all gonna be pissed off once the person comes forward anyway, since in our mind, the person who wins is never the one we visualize as being the most deserving recipient of $365 million. If you guys know anyone in Nebraska, start making some phone calls.

- Lastly, I'm going to hope that President Bush gets his head screwed back on the right way and decides against this deal that would give an Arab-based company control over 6 major US ports. Think about that for a moment. Then read the article. You'll realize that this might not be a good idea given the fact that the US doesn't exactly have the best relationship with nations of the Middle East. Brilliant ideas by W! Good times in the US!

With that wonderful news, that's all I have for right now. For those returning to work on Tuesday, enjoy the week that's been shortened by 20%. For those of you who didn't have off on Monday, it's alright, you've already completed 20% of your week, so we're all even.

Celebrity Sighting in Stamford?

So I'm over at the Stamford Town Center Mall running a few errands, and I see that they've opened up a new sports memorabilia store. I wander in there just to check it out and as I walk in, I see a familiar face. Sure enough, it's Gary Dell'Abate (a.k.a "Baba Booey"), the producer of the Howard Stern show. Being a big fan of the show, I recognized him right away and had to say hi. He was with his two kids, and it wasn't out the question for him to be in the area since he lives in Greenwich, CT, which is about 15 minutes down the road.

I introduced myself and asked how the new show on Sirius Satellite radio was doing. He said everything was going well and asked me if I'd made the switch over yet. I told him I hadn't because I don't spend enough time in the car. He said I should still get it to listen at home. Then I wished him luck and said it was good to meet him.

The guys in the store didn't know who he was and when I had told them, they were like, "Oh the guy from Howard Stern, Baba Booey? Oh, I didn't know he was that crazy nut..."

I was pretty excited just because it's cool to see a celebrity when you least expect it. Plus, the fact that he was nice enough to chat for a minute or two, makes it even better. Just wanted to share this story, and I feel like other fans of the Stern show would appreciate this one.

(The Ross meets Baba Booey. Another one of those random times that I wish I had a digital camera. But then again, let's be serious... Even if I owned one, I wouldn't have it with me when I take a trip to the mall.)

Putting the "R" in Random

A few items to cover for your Thursday night/Friday morning or whenever you get around to reading the RPR:

- First off, this is typical Jonny Kahn:

JBK 007: got a cheney joke for your blog
Auto response from SUBFOMA: I am currently at the work
JBK 007: wait i forgot how it goes
JBK 007: damnit

- Moving right along... I have a few comments on the MySpace phenomenon. I'm sure everyone has a friend who has a MySpace page. I've seen a handful of them and can't quite figure them out. They are like a Friendster/Online Bulletin Board/Blog hybrid. But yet half of the MySpace pages that I view, I feel like they don't use it to the full potential. All it says is what they like, who their friends are, shows a few pictures and maybe has an audio clip embedded.

Granted, I guess it's easier than making your own website, and you don't need to have as much to say as I do on a blog like this. I still have this view that most of the MySpace pages out there are like visiting websites that are half under construction with a few links, a few wisecracks from your friends, a couple of pictures from the last time you went out to the bar, and the fact that you like Old School, Anchorman, and Napoleon Dynamite. I need more substance that that. Many people don't use the blogging facility, which could add some depth to these sites for sure. I do give them credit for some of the creative backgrounds and graphics that I've seen, some of which are cool to look at and others just make it that much more difficult to see your friend Anthony's comments about how fun last Saturday night was while you were out picking up chicks.

Then I see that people send comments back and forth, which just makes it a glorified IM conversation, but instead it's archived on your site and the commenter's picture is next to it. Oh well, I guess it's one of those phenomenons that everyone is into right now, including out 20- something generation. However, one outlet that I feel is most beneficial for MySpace pages is for musicians. This is where I give a plug to the Downtown Harvest, the band that my buddy, Frank, is in. Check out the site and the 4 songs they currently have posted. They have two shows in New York City coming up: one in early March and one in early April, but I'll plug those as the time comes closer.

By the way, if anyone reading this has a MySpace page, please post a link in the comments section so I can check it out. I will admit that it's fun to see what people put on these things...

- Don't get me wrong: I'm glad the Winter Olympics are on. Hey, they only come around every four years. But if I have my choice between Men's Figure Skating and "The Office", what do you think I'll pick? I hate when my shows get pre-empted.

- Craigslist is full of surprises. People will offer just about anything on that site. (Courtest of Gawker.com)

- We all loved Oprah's grilling of James Frey. We also loved (and were horrified by) Tom Cruise's last appearance on Oprah when he acted like a lunatic. What if Oprah had grilled Tom like she did to James Frey? It might go something like this...

That's all for now. Enjoy Friday and I may or may not check in over the weekend... we'll see how ambitious I'm feeling.

Breaking out the Randomness

I spent two nights worth of posts on the adventures from Atlantic City, and overall the feedback was good. Many of you enjoyed the stories, with the exception of Alexis who, "wasn't all that impressed with the stories". Alexis didn't tell me this directly, but Jessica passed on the message. Boo to you Alexis.

The one good thing about taking two days of postings is that when I return to the normal scheduled blogging, I have several things to catch up on.

First off, as I'm writing this, I happen to be IM'ing with Brian and Janet and asked each of them their comments on the Dick Cheney hunting incident.

Janet: It's interesting. I kinda liked him for a minute afterward. Definitely raised my opinion
Ross: Because of the honesty?
Janet: No because he shot a Republican!

Brian provided some brief comments as well...

"Cheney thing is hysterical, especially because I'm supposed to go shooting this weekend. Hopefully no one shoots me... knock on wood"

And on a separate note, Brian also mentions:

"Friday I'm going to the Superdome... I'm gonna try to be the first person to kick a field goal there since Katrina. We plan to re-enact the Joe Horn cellphone incident as well."

- I spoke with Jared this evening, and he couldn't provide any insight on the recent breakup of Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow, because, well, he kinda personally knows Lance. I asked him if he knew what happened, and he just pointed to the fact that most celebrity relationships don't last. Good point. So of course I then threw in my "Yeah, they have about a snowball's chance in hell of lasting" comment. That's one of my favorites.

- Let's be serious: We're 2 weeks removed from the end of the NFL season, and about 3 months removed from the end of Terrell Owen's season with the Eagles. But yet this guy has about as much luck staying out of the news as Brad & Angelina. Now, TO's gonna have his own reality TV show. The article mentions that the show will combine his "passion for working out" with his "natural curiosity" about other people. Let's not get ahead of ourselves on this one because the show has yet to be sold to a network, but as controversial as TO is, I still don't see this show as being anything near a hit. Sure, he's never met a controversy he doesn't like, but otherwise, the guy really is quiet and keeps to himself. So will this show be about him exercising and interacting with others? The exercising part I believe, because the guy did sit-ups and curls on his driving for crying out loud. But interacting with other people? He couldn't get along with hardly anyone on the 53 man Eagles roster, so I'm not sure how this will play out. Of course, I'll report back on this once more information becomes available.

- Getting back to the Cheney incident: There were some reports on Wednesday afternoon with Katharine Armstrong, whose family owns the ranch near where Dick Cheney accidentally shot Harry Whittington, mentioning that some alcohol may have been involved. Armstrong is quoted as saying that, "There may be a beer or two in there, but remember not everyone in the party was shooting." Uh oh Republicans, this story is quickly going in the direction that you don't want it to. Many articles that utilized this quote were quickly pulled, but in this day and age of the internet, once you post it and people (especially the high profile bloggers out there) get ahold of it, then the links remain and so does the story. Let's hear it for another crazy story that will cause a black eye for the White House!

And since I have nothing else to add, I'll just call it a night. Have good Thursdaying.

The Weekend of David Longo, Part 2

[Editor's Note: If you haven't yet read Part 1, please see the post directly below, and then come back and read this one. The story will make more sense when read in that order. Otherwise, it'd be like one of those books that we used to read back in elementary school where you get to pick the path of your story: Jump to Page 31 if you want to follow the little man down the rabbit hole; or jump to page 48 if you want to stay where you are and battle the grizzly bear. You get the idea. Back to the AC weekend.]

So Eric and I were watching this guy sitting at the first spot at the blackjack table and he was throwing money down like it was his job. We're talking hundreds of bucks per hand. And he wasn't too discreet about it either. Someone messed up the hand by straying from standard strategy. He slams his hands down on the table and yells, "COME ON, YOU GOTTA HIT ON THAT HAND! I HAD $500 RIDING ON THAT ONE! F***CCCKKK!!!" Yeah, I'd say he was pretty fired up. Probably turned a few people away, but Eric and I had to sit down with this guy. Allow me to introduce you to the guy we'd come to know over the course of the next day or so. David Longo, mid-40's recently divorced ("Just got through a nasty divorce with my wife...ahem...ex-wife. She took the Range Rover"), looks like a shorter version of Simon Cowell, who lives somewhere in Central Jersey -- on his boat. He also owns a property down on the west coast of Florida and travels back and forth to there. "I don't really do anything. When I'm in Jersey, I usually come down to AC for a few days. When I'm in Florida, I play golf and relax. I stopped working a while back." In fact, we never really found out what he used to do that allowed him to gamble with such disregard for the massive sums of money that he was throwing around.

Somehow we got back on the subject of what he used to do for a living and all he offered was, "I was involved in a leasing business with a guy. I used to be a waiter in his restaurant and he had an idea for a little start-up so I jumped in with him. Turns out a few years later that he was going to jail because the Feds found that he was hiding $1.5 million in income so he didn't have to pay taxes on it. That was the end of that." Okay....

He seemed to be pretty impressed that we had college degrees. "So you guys went to Penn State? Must've been a great time up there. I wouldn't know. I only have a 5th grade education." Well, I guess that's all you really need in order to be able to count to 21.

And even though this guy seems like a complete foul ball, he was as nice as could be, and seemed to enjoy our company. Let's face it, if you're an eccentric personality in the casinos, you'll be shunned by most of the older, crotchety crowd thats in attendance. So we all kinda latched on to each other because we were there to have a good time and so was he. So for the rest of the trip, we would only play cards with David. Plus, he was by himself (sign of a gambling addiction?) and wanted to keep him company. Besides all of this, this guy was pretty damn funny.

First let's talk about his Blackjack strategy: For those of you who don't know the ins and outs of the strategy, just follow along with me and take my word for it that David is a pretty liberal player. He didn't always follow "the book" when it came to his decisions. He'd would get more annoyed at not being able to double down than the fact that he could still win a hand. If the cards came as a pair, then he'd split them -- pretty much no matter what. He was doubling down on 8's and 9's... when the dealer had a 10 showing. If he any "soft" cards (ace + numbered card), he'd almost always double down, even when he probably shouldn't have. It was absurd how this guy would want to double his bet almost any time he could. A little while later, I realized why. He was betting the $500 max for the table, and the only way he could increase his bet was doubling down. His philosophy: "You're gonna take a hit anyway, so why not double down?" So you think to yourself, why wouldn't he just got to a higher limit table? "I have more fun sitting with you guys at the $15 table than the boring assholes in the High Limit room."

To say that David was loud doesn't describe the half of it. Constant yelling, jumping up and down. Talking to people across the room. He didn't care. And if he wasn't putting down thousands and thousands of dollars in bets over the course of the night, the pit bosses and security would have thrown him out a while back. But when you're putting that kind of money on the line, you can get away with anything besides blatantly cheating.

One of the funniest things he did was when the dealer would play his/her hand and everyone would, of course, hope for them to bust. David's thing was to yell the word "Monkey". He kept yelling...."MONKEY!!!! MONKEY!!!!!" and keep repeating it when they broke the hand. So finally I asked him why he kept yelling monkey, and he responded with how "monkey" is the slang term for the face cards. Later on in the night, he kept yelling monkey even when the dealer broke with any card less than a 10. Lost sense of inhibitions and lost sense of numbers.

David knew all of the dealers, pit bosses, and cocktail waitresses.

To the pit boss, Brenda: "Make sure you have me set with my 9pm reservation at the Italian restaurant. I'm getting hungry and want the table ready when I get up there." She made some phone calls and sure enough at 9pm, David was drinking his wine and eating his pasta.

Commenting on all of the comps he gets: "If they didn't give me free stuff, I wouldn't come. Two weeks ago, I had 14 guests come into town. They hooked us up with 3 full suites and even gave me a $2,000 credit for dinner on that Saturday night. They treat me well here."

To the cocktail waitress, Phyllis: "Honey, I don't care if they don't have Jagermeister in the back. Go to the bar, tell the bartender to make the damn drink, and charge it to my room. A big tip is in it for you, so go ahead and get it for me. I'll love you forever." Phyllis brought him back the drink that he ordered, and he gave her a $25 tip.

To the dealer, Liz, after seeing a ring on her finger: "Liz, sweety, are you married or engaged?" She replies that she's married. "Oh that's a shame. I have a suite all to myself tonight, and my girlfriend isn't getting down here until tomorrow........ and my other girlfriend, well, she's still in college."

To the Indian dealer, Kaitan, "Yo, bud, what's the name of that cute Indian dealer over there?" Kaitan replies that he's not allowed to turn around to look. "Yeah, it doesn't matter. You know who I'm talking about. The good looking one. I bet you hang out with her all the time. Tell her to come over here later on and say hi. She knows who I am. Everyone does."

As you can tell, David didn't really what he said to anyone. Words just kept flying out of his mouth, and Phyllis just kept feeding him drinks. And we all just kept gambling.

At one point, Eric's friend, Chris, backed out on a deck that was treating us all very well. David didn't like that Chris was backing out because it's bad for the karma when one player drops out, when the table is on a roll. Sure enough, the last few hands of the deck go against us and David has a minor freakout. By minor, I mean slamming his fist against the table, storming out of his chair and sent the expletives flying like fireworks on the 4th of July.

David came back with this story: "Let me tell you why it pisses me off when people leave a table when everyone's doing well. First off, you gotta keep the karma going. Wait til the end of the deck before you get up. Let the winnings ride a little bit and then get out on top. I took the husband of one of my employee's to a poker game one time. The guy comes in, sits down, and after 30 minutes, wins $200 and says, 'Alright, I'm done for the night.' Well this is a slap in the face to everyone there, especially me since I brought this guy. So I tell him, 'Look, I brought your ass here as a favor. Now sit the f*ck down and keep playing!' I can't stand for this bullsh*t...."

Meanwhile, when we had left the table at 4:30am, David was up around $10,000. When we saw him the next afternoon, he said he ended up around $18,000 for the night. Eric asked him what his worst performance was, and he responded with, "Well, I think the worst was a loss of $28,000 in one night, but the divorce papers say that Harrah's shows a record of $31,000 loss in one night." Here's a thought: you think gambling played into his divorce? Besides that, the guy was just throwing around money like I've never seen before. I have to admit that it's pretty crazy to see. I mean, yeah, I'll throw around $100-200 in gambling money for a weekend, but anything more than that, I can't justify using for gambling and would rather put it to better use in my life. Need I remind you that if the people who came to the casino always won, the casinos would be out of business? They aren't closing their doors so soon.

By the time Sunday had rolled around, the massive snowstorm on the east coast was in full effect and we didn't have much of a choice but to stay another day. To be completely honest, I wanted to get back because I would come out of the trip on top, but being there another day would force (and I say "force" loosely) me to play more. At least a little bit.

It probably helped that we didn't wake up until 1pm and then took a little while to get ready and find something to eat. Sure enough, later in the afternoon, we were wandering around the casino and we ran into David again. He appeared to have mellowed out a bit from the night before, but was still in search of more gaming. He had done well, but claimed that he couldn't stop playing since he'd be in AC until Tuesday. This guy is something else. We did end up playing some more in the early evening on Sunday, but since the luck wasn't as prevalent as Saturday night, we threw a little of our earnings back to the house, but still ended up on top. That's what I call a victory. Sticking it to "the man".

Eric and I parted ways with David around 8pm on Sunday, and he had provided us with plenty of entertainment and the wilder side of Blackjack. He had some great stories, some great one-liners, and the balls to say whatever he really wanted to say. Believe me, I don't aspire to be like this guy -- but he was quite a character and made the trip just a little more exciting with his fireball antics. I always say that just because a person bets a lot of mean doesn't mean that they can afford it, and with this guy, you hope that this gambling habit won't leave him homeless... especially since he claims to currently live on a boat. And I definitely have a feeling that I'll run into David again on one of my next few trips down to AC, whenever that is. Something tells me he might be there.

We did make it back up to this area in one piece on Monday, after we got hit with 27 inches of snow. Guess it was a good idea not to travel on Sunday night. The AC trip was a great idea, especially since we had contemplated not going due to the weather. But if we hadn't gone, then I wouldn't have had any stories about the crazy times down in America's Playground.

Hope you all enjoyed this AC trip recap. I apologize if you were underwhelmed by my stories of David, as I tried to express them in such a way that would best describe his off-the-wall personality. You really have to trust me that this guy was as eccentric as I tell you he is. In fact, Eric can vouch for me as well.

Back tomorrow to catch up on the regular Ross ramblings.

The Weekend of David Longo, Part 1

This weekend was nuts. There's really no other way to describe it, but I'll do my best. Of course, it was one of those situations where so many funny/ridiculous things happened that I probably don't remember them all, but I'll piece it together as best I can.

After work on Friday, I came into the city to meet up with Eric so that we could head down the Garden State Parkway to the one and only, Atlantic City. Those of you who know me well know that I enjoy the AC. I mean, who doesn't? Eric's friend, Chris, had a room down at Harrah's since he was playing in a poker tournament there over the weekend, and when the opportunity came about to make the trip, we couldn't pass it up. Especially since Eric had never been to America's Playground. Had to show him a good time.

I'm deciding to take a different approach to this story because I've been thinking about how log the essay could be on this weekend. Instead, I'll just pull out the highlights. If I went into all the details, I'd probably bore everyone and this post would become way too long.

(Eh, who am I kidding? It'll still be long. I don't know how to make any long story short. Back to the article.)

- I wanted to mention that while I was waiting for Eric, I ended up standing at an intersection in the city for about 20-25 minutes. I could have gone inside, but for one thing, I sit inside the office all day and wanted to get some air. So what did I do for 20-25 minutes? People watched. And New York City is the pantheon for people watching because basically everyone is nuts. In that time frame, I had 3 people ask for directions (all of which were nowhere near where they wanted to go and 1 of which was absolutely hammered), saw 2 ladies get hit on by the guy working the street vendor cart, and saw multiple people almost get hit by cars/bikes/other pedestrians. It's pretty funny to hear short excerpts of people's conversations as they walk by and try to imagine what exactly they were talking about. I also happened to be standing in front of a women's clothing store and noticed that about 3 or 4 women commented on one particular dress being "cute", which further solidifies my theory that all women think alike. I encourage everyone to people watch when you get a chance. It truly is a fascinating art.

- Night 1 of gambling was a good time, although at this point, it seems like forever ago. Blackjack is my game and I don't get bored of playing it endlessly. Of course, I can convince myself very quickly to get bored of it if I happen to be losing. This was not the case on Friday night, despite the evil dealer Tina, who may have been the single most miserable dealer I've ever come into contact with, I still ended up on top. Tina just wasn't a very happy person. We were trying to strike up conversation, give her compliments, make her smile. She gave us nothing except a look that screamed, "I don't want to be here." Well you know what, Tina? That's not my fault. We're here to play cards and if you want any chance at some tips, you should make an effort to be pleasant. I know you're getting paid regardless, but throw us a bone here. Then Irina took over for Tina. Eric tried to convince her he was part Russian as well, but even though she humored him, she didn't want to be mean by telling him that he's full of crap.

- As we braced ourselves for this crazy snowstorm on Saturday, we were dealing with rain for most of the day. First order of business was getting some lunch. Went to an old favorite: Sack O' Subs on Ventnor Ave. in Ventnor. Gotta love a greasy sandwich from Sack O's to get the day going. Before the weather got bad, we had to make a trip over to the Borgata. Had to prove to Eric that the casinos in AC weren't all shitty. The East Coasters received a small taste of Vegas back in July, 2003 when the Borgata opened. It draws the younger, classier crowd. You see more good looking people and less senior citizens with "World's Best Grandpop" sweatshirts on.

Because of the threat of the storm, Borgata was empty. In fact, I've never seen it this empty. A lot of people planned on coming down for the day or for the weekend and cancelled the trip. All the better for us as there were plenty of $10 and $15 tables for us low spenders. Believe it or not, we even came across 2 tables that were $5 minimums. I was astonished.

We played some Blackjack with dealer Janice for a little while, who looked like a 60 year old version of SNL's Rachel Dratch. Eric became known as the complainer of the table, so he responds with, "Come on, I'm Jewish. Complaining is what we do best." After dealer Janice was dealer Rob who was about 325 lbs thin. And he gets the award for being the 2nd most disgruntled dealer of the trip behind Tina. I don't know what was with this guy. You try to talk to him, strike up a conversation, ask a question, tell him to go to hell....no reaction from him. Besides the fact that he killed us several hands in a row, we decided to get up and try our luck elsewhere. Since it was becoming later in the afternoon, we were going to head back to Harrah's and keep ourselves there through the snowstorm. In other words, we'd be inside the casino, with no clocks, minimal windows, and plenty of gambling options during a potentially huge snow storm. This could be bad for business.

As it was said, "There could be worse places to be stuck during the snow." The rebuttle: "Yeah, but there could be cheaper places to be stuck also." Good point.

Commercial break: Time for the top 3 senior citizen accessories of the weekend, brought to you by Fixodent.

3. The guy with the walker who we saw right as we arrived on Friday night. He looked like the little old man who played the priest in Wedding Crashers.
2. The lady in the wheelchair who was being carted around by her daughter and son-in-law. Unlike Disney World, they didn't get to go to the front of the buffett line.
1. The guy sitting in the lobby area when you come in from the parking garage, with the oxygen tank. Here's a brilliant idea if you have emphysema: come to a casino where people smoke like chimneys. The whole place is a walking Philip Morris advertisement.
Honorable mention: The lady by the slot machine, riding in the motorized cart with hydraulics. I didn't see it, but Eric is convinced it had hydraulics. Let's take his word for it.

- So when we got back to Harrah's, hung out a little, watched some Winter Olympics coverage on NBC, made fun of the foreign athletes, relaxed for a few. But before we'd go to eat dinner, it was time to hit up the tables again. We went downstairs to the same section of tables that we had been to on Friday night and scoped out the scene. Like the Borgata, it was rather empty here too. Could only be to our advantage. We spotted a table that would likely have two open seats in the near future, since we overheard a couple make mention of upcoming dinner reservations. Combine that with some small stacks of chips and it was about time for us to sit down. Sure enough, it was our turn to sit down with dealer Jennifer (female asian - toughest dealers to play against. They seem pleasant, but they won't let you take them to the bank.) Turns out that we made the best decision of the weekend to sit down at this table on Saturday night at approximately 7pm. That's when Eric and I met David Longo, the most eccentric character of the weekend.

[With that, the RPR will return tomorrow with "The Weekend of David Longo, Part 2". In the meantime, have a pleasant Valentine's Day.]

Thursday Night Quick Post

Let me tell you something...you guys are lucky. I signed onto the Blogger site and found out that it was temporarily "down for maintenance" for 1 hour from 12am to 1am EST. Well, I was gonna call it a night. I even had this message all written out in my AIM profile about how you could blame the Blogger folks for my inability to post anything for you to read on Friday morning. And then I waited a little bit, gave it one more shot, and sure it enough, it was back up and running.

- So Wednesday was a debacle. We had an unexpected project deadline moved way up on us, and that turned into co-worker Adam and I being in the office until 12:30am. Not cool. Not cool at all. You could tell how thrilled I was. The good news is that most of the stuff is complete and should all be finalized on Friday. Not that you really care, but just thought I needed to justify my lack of a post for your Thursday. Hey, I try my best to please the crowd.

- I'm driving home tonight, and as many of you know, it's always interesting when you see a car with a license plate of a state that isn't anywhere near your current location. I always wonder, "what's this guy's story?" Tonight, I see a car with Alabama plates. I knew the plate's design looked familiar, because when we went down to see PSU play in the 2003 Capital One Bowl in Orlando (don't get me started on that game), we saw a ton of Alabama plates with all of the folks there supporting Auburn. That was the first item that peaked my curiosity. Actually, I lied. My curiosity was then peaked when the car had a decal with the dealership and location. You know what I'm talking about.... it says Johnny Montenelli Chevrolet in Secaucus, NJ. Anyway, that was just an example. The car with the Alabama plates had a decal for a dealership in Newport, RI. Ok, let me get this straight...the person, at some point in time, lived in both Newport, RI (one of the most upscale of all New England towns) and also lived somewhere in Alabama? Or maybe he bought the car from someone in Newport and then went back to Alabama? Of course there's gotta be more to the story, but with the initial info out on the table, I have to conclude that this person some sort of felon. There's no other way to explain it.

- I know this is belated from Febuary 8th, but I want to wish one of my best friends from home, Bobby Hipp, a happy birthday. He's pretty damn busy saving lives as he goes through his clinical rotations at a hospital in the Allentown/Bethlehem area, but I hope he got a chance to take a break long enough to enjoy the birthday. And B.Hipp, why don't you give me a call when you get a chance, you sonofabitch?

- This weekend ought to be a good time, as Eric and I take a little road trip down to Atlantic City, NJ ("America's Playground")! Eric's never been to the AC, and of course, it is my obligation to make the trip with him to show him the ropes. We'll do a little gambling, roam around from one casino to another, do a little more gambling, maybe get a good dinner somewhere along the line, and meet up with one of his buddies from home. Should be a good time. We might even run into Rick Tocchet, Wayne Gretzky, and his wife down there. (If you don't get the reference, read about it in this article.) I'm sure I'll have some stories when I come back on Sunday, and pray for me to come back with my pockets heavier rather than lighter. The RPR hearts the Dirty Jerz!

Ladies and Gentleman, please have a nice weekend. Thank you.

Don't even ask.....

Take a look at the time stamp on this post. I'm just leaving work now. Sorry folks but there's not much else I can say at this point. The thought crossed my mind just to sleep on the floor in my office, but I figured I'd head home to sleep for a few hours before I come back and do it again. Hopefully I can write something better on Thursday night. Good night.

An Encounter with my Nemesis

As the famous saying goes, "Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer". I wouldn't say that Yolanda, the lady who cuts my hair, is an enemy; in fact she happens to be a very nice person. It's just that I wouldn't want to get on her bad side. I think of Yolanda as more of an nemesis (definition: an opponent that cannot be beaten or overcome).

Those of you who are longtime RPR readers remember some of my old stories about going to get a haircut at a local shop here in Stamford. I got sucked into using one "stylist" named Yolanda for several visits, and can't seem to get away from her. It's not that she gives me a bad haircut, as I'm usually pleased with her work, but rather that she's a very intimidating character.

I needed a haircut badly. I arrived at home this weekend and the first thing Mom said to me is, "You really need a haircut" with that look on her face as if she wonders if I am her son or some stunt double from Teen Wolf. Don't get ahead of yourself, I didn't look like a hippie, but was a little scraggily along the edges. Mom suggested I go over to the barbershop at home, but that didn't really fit into the weekend's agenda, and thus I assured her I'd get the haircut early in the week.

So this evening, after work, I make it over there. When I drove by the window, I could only see one person working and wondered if they had already closed. I parked the car, ran in, and made sure they were still open. When the disgruntled Australian receptionist said that they were still open, I then ran out and put a few coins in the meter. Then I returned to the store and waited for a few minutes. As I'm sitting there, some guy walks in, with one of those obnoxious earpiece cell phone things where you can't tell if the guy is talking to you, himself, or someone on the phone. Here's what ensued:

Guy with the Obnoxious Earpiece: You guys still open?
Disgruntled Australian Receptionist: Yep.
(Time for acronyms) GwtOE: How long for a haircut?
DAR: We only have one stylist in this evening, and this guy [pointing to me] is ahead of you.
GwtOE: Oh yeah? Who's in tonight?

(Side note: There's a wall that blocks the reception area from where all the chairs are, so you can't see who's working)

DAR: We just have Yolanda here.
GwtOE: [Scared look in his eye... trying to think of something to say... same look as the one you get when you take a bite of food you don't like.... thought about pulling off the "Maybe I can act like I don't speak English, oh wait, I already blew that one since we had this conversation in English", and then just puts the earpiece back in and leaves.]
DAR: [Goes back to reading her magazine]

Unbelievable. This guy heard that Yolanda was the only person working and just took off. I mean come on, it wasn't like he couldn't wait for one person. It's not like there was a whole waiting room full of people. Something was going on.

Then Yolanda emerges from her lair. Has this pissed look in her eye. She asks the disgruntled Australian receptionist if "that guy left because I'm the only one here." Receptionist just looks up, chewing her gum, and says, "Don't know." Then she turns to me, stares me down, points at me with her right index finger, and signals, "You're next".

I think to myself, "You gotta kill her with kindness. Say something pleasant. Keep on her good side. God knows what will happen to that guy who took off."

Me: Hey! How are you doing?
Yolanda: I'm good. I've seen you before, but not in a while...
Me: [Oh god, she's on to me. Gonna play the stylist disloyalty card. I'm sweating like OJ answering the questions of the prosecution.] Yes, you've cut my hair several times before! Haven't been here in a while, as you can see [pointing to my scraggily hair.]
Yolanda: What happened to that guy that left? He musta came in here and saw I was the only one and bolted. Well screw him. I don't mean to do no harm to nobody and if he ain't want me to cut his hair, then he can go get someone else to do it. Know what I mean?
Me: Yeah I don't know what happened, he just came in and left.
Yolanda: [Starts mumbling something to herself about doing good in the world and not letting "haters" rain on her parade.]

I tried to stay quiet for most of the time she was cutting my hair, and just commented after she made the first comment. Range of topics included: Her favorite songs by The Temptations; how she supposedly studies how each of her customers' hair grows so that she can provide the best haircut possible; how some people's ears are uneven and thus it makes it difficult for her to line up your sideburns; and how she is secretly addicted to coke while having an affair with Malcolm X in the 1960's (ok, I made that last one up).

When the haircut was finished, I thanked her and assured her that I was pleased with the job she had done. Let's be serious: We can't forget that this woman has access to various razors, shavers, and sharp scissors. Making the wrong comment to her would be like throwing a balloon filled with kerosene into a bonfire. I went up to the disgruntled Australian receptionist and paid, and was sure to return to Yolanda with her gratuity in hand. I did get a smile and a thank you before I departed, so we'll chalk that up as a mild victory.

I then grabbed my coat and bolted for the door. The lady is a little nuts, but knowing that she does work the later shift there, and is always scheduled for Mondays & Tuesdays (the $14 haircut special days), then I will be sure to run into her every 6-7 weeks. And hey, she does give me a decent haircut, so I guess it's all worth it.

I just feel bad for that guy who left because she was the only option. That guy is blackballed from this place for life. Remember, "keep your friends close, and your enemies closer". Not sure who originally said this quote, but he/she may have known Yolanda back in the day.

Weekend Recap: One Day Late

Hey I'm back after the weekend, and taking the night off last night in honor of watching the Super Bowl and the craziness that ensued on "Grey's Anatomy". How about that episode by the way? That code black is some scary junk. Leaving us with a cliffhanger for next week...

Let's run through the weekend recap. I was back in the Philadelphia for a short visit with the parentals. Saturday for lunch met up with Brandon and Jonny Belman, who was in town for a short visit for some grad schools. You heard it hear first: Jonny Belman will change the world some day. He'll find the cure for cancer, if he doesn't succeed with that, he might find the cure for some other ailment and we'll be happy nonetheless.

Saturday evening, went to a comedy show down at the Kimmel Center with my folks and the Jessica. We saw "Defending the Caveman", which is a solo act with a guy laying out all of the differences between men and women, and likening the root of the differences with two sexes back to the caveman days. And let me tell you, it was pretty damn funny. He explained the reason why women always call men "assholes". And why women always look for compliments from men (because they always compliment each other, and thus expect it from men as well). He explained that men don't often show their emotions with their friends, but rather express it in different ways (like calling your best friend "dickhead" or "douchebag"), and that men bond by doing things like working in the garage or watching football, rather than bonding through conversation as women do. You get the idea....the show was hilarious and I definitely recommend it. It's one of those theatrical events where you laugh the entire time and constantly think to yourself, "I do that!" and "My girlfriend does that too!".

So did you know that Ted Turner has a restaurant? Neither did I until my parents told me that it had just opened up in Philadelphia and we were going there after the show. Apparently, Ted has a ranch out in Montana and loves his beef. So he opened a few restaurants called Ted's Montana Grill. Of course Dad had to make the obligatory "Is Jane Fonda going to be our waitress?" comment, and then the hostess went on to give us a whole rundown of all the wives that Ted Turner has had. It's amazing that one person knew that much about a guy who owns a few TV stations. She even mentioned one of Jane Fonda's other ex-husband who had so much money but then "snorted it all away". I couldn't make this up. Anyway, the restaurant was great. If you are a vegan/vegetarian, don't go here. It's all beef/bison/chicken. I tried a bison burger and it was fantastic. I found the bison to be very similar to regular beef, very tender, and extremely tasty. Ted's Montana Grill gets the RPR recommendation, especially if you're a carnivore like me.

Super Bowl Sunday: made my way back up here with the Jessica to watch the big game. And since we've all seen the game, the highlights, the post-game interviews, and the clips of Hines Ward and Jerome Bettis in Disney World, then let's just skip to my commentary.

- TheJessica thought I was nuts after I was able to name all of the Super Bowl MVP's going back to SB XXV as they came out on the field before the game. (Don't remember earlier than SB XXIV). And yes, I even knew Dexter Jackson, Larry Brown, and Mark Rypien. There might be something wrong with me.

- Did we really need Tom Brady flipping the coin? The fact that he got booed and laughed about it was priceless.

- You tell me that after the 1st quarter, that you didn't think that Seattle had a chance to win the game?

- How great was it when John Madden would comment on how he could predict a Steelers running play, simply because Bill Cowher had his arms folded across his chest?

- Yes, the Seahawks did get jobbed on a few of those calls. I'm still not sure Roethlisberger got in on that TD. That was a lame offensive pass interference call on Darrell Jackson. And that holding penalty on the Seattle offensive lineman to wipe out the completion to Jerramy Steven at the 1 yard line: that was pretty questionable as well.

- Let's give credit where it's due: They don't call him Fast Willie for nothing. The "gadget play" TD... excellent play call, excellent execution. And I still wouldn't want to meet up with Joey Porter in a dark alley.

- I'm still not sure that I could name more than two guys on the Seattle defense. I'll give it a shot... Lofa Tatupu (great name) and Kelly Herndon (guy who made the INT and was too slow to return it for a TD). Could probably name some more, but you get the idea.

- (Don't worry, I'll come to commercials later)

- Bill Simmons wrote a running diary on the Super Bowl. The diaries are Simmons at his best. Check it out.

- Loved Mike Holmgren's comment today. (something along the lines of) "We knew we'd face a tough challenge with the Steelers. I just didn't know that our other opponent would be the guys in stripes". Something tells me the league might send him a little fine for that one...

- Any championship isn't complete without a hometown celebration including some arrests.

- This comment was left in an IM for me from Andy (big Steelers fan) shortly after the game ended: "I can't freakin believe this shit dude...Unbelievable...First Penn State finishes number 3 in the country and wins in the Orange Bowl...then the Steelers win the Super Bowl...I think my luck has finally changed with sports". I can only hope that my luck with the Eagles will change in the near future as well...

Now, for the commercials. Janet suggested that I run a poll on everyone's favorite commercials. So let's do just that: Please vote for your favorite in the comments. Here's some choices...

a) FedEx with the Cavemen
b) The Chimps & Jackasses for CareerBuilder.com
c) The streaking goat for Budweiser
d) The young Clydesdale for Budweiser
e) MacGyver and Mastercard
f) Other

My vote goes to the FedEx with the cavemen for randomness, creativity, and overall "that was crazy factor" based on the end of the commercial with the cavemen kicking the small dinosaur, and then getting stomped on by a larger dinosaur. Completely out of left field. Runnerup was the chimps and jackasses for CareerBuilder.com. You have to love monkeys in any commercial. Booes go out to the Diet Pepsi commercials with Jay Mohr and P.Diddy because they were pretty worthless and to the Burger King commercial with the Whopperettes. Should have stuck with superimposing the King in football highlights.

And since I have nothing else to add, I'll call it a night. Back tomorrow with the standard nonsense.

Some XL Thoughts

Another week come and gone. Have some random items on the agenda for this post. Let's get to it.

- So I have now it straight in my mind that if the groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, sees his shadow, that means we're in for 6 more weeks of winter. As I mentioned yesterday, if that 6 more weeks of winter is anything like the past couple of weeks, I think we're all fine with that. Anyway, Julie passed on an article about the happenings at Gobbler's Knob in Punxsutawney, PA. I find two things to be suspicious about this whole groundhog nonsense. First, the quote, "Despite overcast skies, Phil was declared to have seen [his shadow]." That's a load of garbage. If it's cloudy, how did he see his shadow? And how do these clowns know what the groundhog did or did not see? The more I think about it, I find this whole annual extravaganza to be a hoax. Secondly, Punxsutawney Phil is now a Steelers' fan. I didn't see any Terrible Towels in other years. Could Phil be jumping on the bandwagon? Something fishy is going on.

- Speaking of the Steelers, I have to rip on them one more time before they win the Super Bowl on Sunday. After that, I can't rip on them until at least the beginning of next season, so I have to get my shots in while I can. Come to think of it, I'm not actually ripping on them, but my guy Bill Simmons is. Who's he calling out? Jerome Bettis? He wouldn't dare!

"After Tuesday's Cowbell, [RPR note: reference middle of that column, and then come bck to these comments] some Pittsburgh fans/readers pointed out that Bettis struggled in Denver because his asthma always kicks up in the high altitude. First, I have asthma, so I don't need to be lectured about it -- there's a thing called "an inhaler" that protects athletes from having asthma attacks when they play sports. I know this because I use one whenever I play any sport. So does anyone who suffers from asthma. Second, Bettis had 5 carries in the first half and 15 carries overall in Denver -- this wasn't exactly one of those 42-carry games out of the Earl Campbell Playbook. Third, and most importantly, he's noticeably overweight for a professional athlete (much less someone playing a skill position in the NFL). This is why he needed an oxygen mask in the second half. Jerome Bettis is very, very heavy. He's extremely large. When large people exert themselves physically, they tend to have trouble breathing and keeping their body at a normal temperature, as we found out during every Blues Travelers concert in the early-90's. If you suffer from asthma and playing in thin air, carrying extra weight makes any breathing problems you may have had about 10-20 times worse.

The bigger issue: He's a professional athlete, which means he only has three jobs: Show up on time, listen to his coach, stay in shape. Because he's a great guy who happens to be retiring after the season, these facts obscure the fact that he's not even remotely in shape anymore. For example, what if Super Bowl XL goes into overtime and the Bus can't play anymore because he's laboring like Chris Farley at the tail end of the Chippendale's sketch, so Cowher has to use Verron Hayes on a 3rd-and-short? Would this be acceptable? Or should we overlook it because he's a good guy? You tell me."

Valid points all around. Leave it to Bill Simmons to go against the grain. Of course, he's probably getting his last shots in to, since everyone knows the Steelers are going to win...

- Continuing on the Super Bowl XL kick, let's talk about the commercials. We all love the commercials, and I'd bet that many people who watch the game see it as commercials that are interrupted by a football game. It's nice to get the early scoop on what to expect from these companies that shell out $2.5 million for 30 seconds of the most prime airtime know to mankind. It doesn't come as much of a surprise that Budweiser, Burger King, and CareerBuilder.com are supposed to come up with some quality broadcast advertising, and you can read a little more about it here. As Eric once proclaimed, the best commercials you can make involve either midgets or monkeys. You throw both into one commercial, and you're golden. Let's hope the companies follow that advice.

- On a side note, I question those automatic sinks in the public bathrooms....you know, the ones where you press the button and only receive about 4 seconds worth of water? I need to start a petition to get companies, restaurants, store owners, and the like, to extend the amount of time that the public bathroom goers are given to wash their hands per press of the faucet. How can I possibly press the button, rub in the soap, and rinse in 4 seconds? Impossible. I'd like to get ahold of someone and say, "Hey, can you fix the setting to give me at least 10 seconds worth of water? I promise the water won't be left running and be wasted. I ensure you that I will actually be utilizing it. Thank you." Again, folks, I bring up real life situations for real life people like you and I who are more in touch with reality than others.

- I'm heading to the Philadelphia this weekend to see my parents, and then back up here to watch Super Bowl XL on Sunday evening. Enjoy the weekend, and check back on Tuesday for an update, as I may not get a chance to do any blogging for Monday.

The RPR: I Might See My Shadow on Thursday

Ladies and Gentlemen, a very happy Groundhog Day to everyone. For one thing, I can never remember which way it goes: If Punxsatawney Phil sees his shadow, then we have 6 more weeks of winter, or if he doesn't see his shadow then it's 6 more weeks of winter. I can never get it straight. Regardless, we've had some mild weather here in the Northeastern portion of the country as of late, but all that means is that we'll have some freak snow storms in March for all we know. What are the odds that Groundhog Day is on TBS or TNT on Thursday night?

- I may have hit the jackpot with this one. I found a video clip of a MAD TV parody of Laguna Beach . Since we haven't had any Laguna coverage in a while, when I saw this, I knew it had to be posted. By the way, who's looking forward to "The Hills"? Any idea when this is supposed to premiere?

- In other news, Jodi Sweetin (Stephanie from "Full House") comes clean about her meth addiction. The cast of "Full House" is all over the place. Look what it did to the Olsen twins. They are anorexic/alcoholic/drug addicts as well. Seems like Bob Saget was scarred from playing Danny Tanner, and now he's one of the raunchiest comics around. If anyone saw The Aristocrats, you know exactly what I mean. Getting back to Jodi Sweetin, it should be noted that she's 24 years old, which happens to be the same age as I am. It's always weird when you find out that former child actors end up being the same age as you, because your constant point of reference is little Stephanie Tanner at age 7. Very weird. Apparently the impetus for her meth addiction was unemployment and boredom. Sounds like a great idea to me. 'I don't have a job and I don't do anything with myself all day. Might as well get some narcotics and give it a whirl.' Makes perfect sense to me.

- If anyone saw Sportscenter this evening, or checked out ESPN.com, you saw that Donovan McNabb, after a long period of silence on the subject, had plenty to say about Terrell Owens in an ESPN interview. I'm not going to get in to what was said, but just wanted to mention that it ended up getting a decent amount of coverage during the middle of Super Bowl week. Although the Eagles had a miserable season, at least they're in the news (albeit for the nonsense that more or less ruined their season). Steelers fans, don't fret: there'll be 3 more days of coverage with the verbal fight between Joey Porter and Jeremy Stevens. And Hines Ward is still smiling. And if Jerome Bettis truly weighs 255 lbs, as its noted in the official listings, then I'm the Prince Charles' third son.

That's it for tonight. Back tomorrow night to wrap up the week.

The RPR with Political Commentary?

First off, it should be noted that I would have began to write earlier this evening except Jared gave me a call and started yapping for a while. He apologizes for keeping me from the blog...but we'll let him slide since, let's face it, I don't know how to go to bed early anyway.

- I promised myself I'd stay away from politics. And since our President, Mr. Red State himself gave the State of the Union Address, I'm sure the thought was planted in the back of your mind that I might have a few comments. Again, I don't like politics. Never did. I don't care to argue about politics either, and I feel very strongly about this. I will offer a few comments on the State of the Union and that's it. Please do not write comments with a rebuttle because I won't put up a fight.

In my mind, the highlight of the State of the Union is when the President enters the room and that guy (of course I can't remember his title) announces, "Mr. Speaker, the President of the United States!" It's pretty exciting in my mind, and then of course everyone claps and cheers for 10 minutes while W stands there with that dumbfounded look on his face. By the way, one of the ABC anchors mentioned thatBush currently has an approval rating of around 40%, which the last time I checked means that a majority of the people polled around the country disapprove of the job he's doing.

I can't say that I gave my total attention to the speech. I was doing laundry during it and got bored after about 10 minutes. However, it was on in the background, and here's the four things I took from it:

1. We're not leaving Iraq. If we leave, it looks like we're giving in to evil, no matter how many more innocent people are killed. And it doesn't matter what the politicians say, the decisions are being left to the military leaders. In other words, since the politicians are supposed to be the voice of their constituents, then we really don't care what the citizens think either.

2. We have a problem with oil. Americans are addicted to oil. Most of the oil in the world comes from nations that we have severe issues with. Let's look into alternative methods of fuel and energy. In fact, maybe we can just put Red Bull in our gas tanks and that will be sufficient.

3. Foreign nations that do not have democracies depend on the United States for help and it's our duty to help them. In other words, let's stick our nose in every other countries' business while we should really be focusing our time and effort on domestic problems. As if we don't have enough problems of our own, we'll deal with yours too.

4. Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid are a problem. The Baby Boomers are entering their 60's and we're crossing our fingers that we have enough money to let your Mom and Dad retire. Eh, on second thought we'll just raise taxes to cover it, so don't worry about a thing...

Things are looking just great, folks! 2008 election is quite some time away, so let the good times roll...

(To be honest, I was rather peeved that I have to wait another 7 days for new episodes of "House" and "Love Monkey". Can't they schedule the State of the Union on a Wednesday?)

- Since Bill Simmons took a pass this year on attending the Super Bowl and keeping a running diary for ESPN.com, the Super Bowl blog is being written this year by pop culture writer, Chuck Klosterman. (click on the link, and within that page, you'll see links for prior day's entries.) I have to say it's a pretty decent blog that gives you a good idea of the circus that's going on in Detroit this week. I also enjoy his pop culture/music references which add a nice twist to the usual sports journalism.

- I had a few people tell me that they agreed with my comments on the train seat etiquette and people don't understand the rules of personal space. Co-worker Adam also mentioned a similarity to the restroom etiquette, which is always a touchy, yet very important, topic. I even found a website devoted to restroom etiquette, and since I provide a public service here at the RPR, I would like to pass on some recommended reading: International Center for Bathroom Etiquette. You wouldn't want to be "caught with your pants down" when it comes to this topic, now would you? (pun intended).

- I read that Howard Stern and his girlfriend, Beth Ostrosky, were running in Central Park on Saturday afternoon. I was in Central Park on Saturday afternoon as well. I'd be more upset that I didn't see them, and then I remembered that the park is absolutely huge and there were thousands of people walking/running around that day. Would have been cool though...

Let's call it a night. Enjoy your Wednesday and try not to get too fired up over my political commentary, especially all of you Republicans out there. Take it easy on me now.