AC Trip Review - Tomorrow

Check back tomorrow for the AC trip recap with a few good stories, and believe it or not, another run-in with David Longo. I'll give the full details later on.

In the meantime, an update on last week's article about a woman who was spanked at work during a team building exercise: A jury awarded Janet Orlando, the victim, a total of $1.7 million between economic loss, medical costs, emotional distress, and punitive damages. There wasn't any way that her former employer, security systems company Alarm One, would get out of this situation without having to pay out a hefty sum. Let's just hope that this is a lesson to other companies about how to conduct team exercises in a professional and non-humiliating way.

Also, here's a link sent to me by Julie, which shows some of the professors at Boston College taking a popular Bon Jovi song a little too far. Julie wanted me to mention her disclaimer:
"**Disclaimer** Please know that I in no way support Boston College or 'Baldwin' their eagle mascot. That said... this is pretty darn funny, especially then second half!"

Back tomorrow with AC trip review and whatever else comes up between now and then.

Team Building Gone Bad?

We're gonna start calling Co-worker Adam "The Link Man" because of all the great articles he sends my way. More importantly, when they are sent to me, they usually include a comment along the lines of "If this isn't blogworthy, then I don't know what is". Let's be serious, most of these articles are indeed blogworthy because there are a lot of people in the world who do a lot of stupid things that make it into the news. Secondly, I'll blog about pretty much anything: bloggers can't be picky. Especially myself.

Anycase, this lady is suing because she was spanked at work during a team-building activity. My favorite comments from this article is where it mentions that the employees were "paddled with rival companies' yard signs" and the "winner poked fun at the losers, throwing pies at them, feeding them baby food, making them wear diapers, and swatting their buttocks". This is plain ridiculous.

It doesn't seem like the lawyers have much of a shot of defending the company: "Lawyers for Alarm One, an Anaheim-based, 300-employee company, said the spankings were part of a voluntary program to build camaraderie and were not discriminatory because they were given to both male and female workers." Um, guys, that doesn't really make your point any more valid.

-Oh yeah, Britney Spears is pregnant again. In other news, I'm trying desperately not to become the blogging equivalent to a tabloid, but our favorite celebs to make fun of just keep getting knocked up. It's completely out of my control.

- This might be the best haircut ever.

- So the boys (Brandon, Eric, and Jonny Belman) and I are heading down to Atlantic City this weekend. It's been about 2 and a half months since the David Longo encounter, along with getting snowed in over the whole weekend. I don't see any snow in the forecast which is good news, and who knows -- maybe we'll run into David again. Should be an awesome time... some boozin, gambling, and maybe some hookers on the side. Great times all around. (Kidding about the hookers -- come on now) Look forward to some stories after I get from the weekend.

Hey, have a good weekend now.

...And I'm not even an AmEx cardholder

Not too much to discuss this evening, but I found two funny items via Thighs Wide Shut:

For those of you who are Sopranos fans and saw the episode last Sunday, you may get a kick out of this mock ad:




Also, if you are a fan of Wes Anderson (Director of The Life Aquatic, The Royal Tenanbaums, and Rushmore), he's starring in a new American Express ad of his own. While I think some of the recent AmEx commercials are rather uninspiring, like the Robert DeNiro and Kate Winslett spots, this one is significantly more creative. I haven't actually seen in on TV yet, and I hope it does make it on the air. It's floating around the Internet pretty well though... Check it out.

There Are No Themes to the RPR Postings

Couple of items this evening...

- First off, Amy isn't too happy with Ben & Jerry's Free Cone Day, which took place on Tuesday. Reason being: The 23rd St. location in Manhattan decided not to participate. She calls that "ballsy and annoying". I guess there truly isn't anything you can get for free in New York City, not even a lousy ice cream cone.

- Hey, the Donald wants to open a casino in North Philly! Specifically, the Donald has expressed interest in the Nicetown neighborhood, but don't be fooled by the name: it isn't too nice over there. The writer of this (quite lengthy) article mentions that the neighborhood needs a nice grocery store before they need TrumpStreet. I guess Trump has done all he can do in NYC, and now he's rolling south on 95 to the City of Brotherly Love. It's alright, the construction hasn't even started and the graffitti artists are already lining up...

- Andy didn't have any Nuggets of Wisdom this week, but he'll be back in action next week.

- Brian mentioned that the Prison Rodeo ranks in the Top 5 Most Ridiculous Events he's ever witnessed, but words don't do it justice. I spoke with him on how ridiculous it was, and I'm definitely taking his word on it. It should be mentioned that Brian and the friend he attended the rodeo with were the only people out of 10,000 who weren't from Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Texas, or Tennessee. They lied and said they were from Florida. Good call.

There was bargaining with the inmates in order to buy the crafts they made by hand (what else do they have to do while behind bars?), where some had to negotiate behind a fence if they were deemed too dangerous to man their craft table. There was Mexican Poker, an event where 4 inmates sat on chairs while a bull is let loose. The last inmate sitting wins. Also, there were goats running around in the rodeo pen with monkeys riding on the backs of dogs. Yes, monkeys riding on dogs. Brian says he isn't kidding. The last event involved a poker chip being placed in between the horns of a bull, and all of the participants had to get the poker chip. Whoever came away with it won a $500 credit to the commissary. Who would have thought that these convicts would be safer in the jail cells?

Tomorrow's another day...

A Little Bit of Everything at the RPR

* Note: I didn't get a chance to get any Nuggets of Wisdom from Andy on Monday, so please allow me to take a raincheck on that item until Tuesday.

- I'm not gonna lie, movies are expensive these days. You go to the movies, they get you coming and going: around $10 per ticket, and the price of purchasing popcorn or a soda could be the equivalent to a down payment on the plot of land that the movie theater chain will use to build their next location. But I've found a way around this: the matinee. The Jessica and I attend a movie on Sunday afternoon (!) and were flabergasted when the tickets were only $6 a piece. Unbelievable. I think we were shocked since we hadn't been to the movies in the afternoon in quite some time. Plus the weather was horrendous, so movies was a good call.

We saw Friends With Money; In other words, Jessica saw a chick flick and I watched Jennifer Aniston, so it all works out. In all honesty, the movie wasn't bad, had some funny moments, but left a bad taste in our mouths after the lame ending. You know how that is: movie is pretty good and then it just ends. That's it. Nothing really comes together and you feel jipped. Eh, I'm already over it. Plus Jennifer Aniston wore a French maid outfit in one scene: worth the price of admission alone.

- Who wants to see a rough hockey hit? I was watching Game 1 of the Flyers/Sabres series on Saturday night and saw this vicious hit that Sabres' Brian Campbell put on the Flyers' RJ Umberger. If you didn't already see this, please brace yourself, and luckily Umberger was not seriously injured...



- One thing we all love to bitch about: Gas prices. Most of us have to deal with the rising gas prices, except for those of you in an urban setting who can depend on mass transportation, or if you're on a college campus and everything you need is within a half mile of your residence. Otherwise, you're probably paying upward of $3.00/gallon like me. Good times all around. Your wallet loves you for it. Now check out what the prices look like around the country. It isn't pretty. (Zoom anywhere on that map, and right click on any county for the average prices.)

- Reading the RPR at work? It's ok, a judge ruled that it's perfectly legal to surf the web while at work! So if your boss or another co-worker gives you a tough time, send this article their way and let them know that they've been overruled by the Judicial system.

That's all for now...

Random Link, Prison Rodeo, and Suri!

Let's start off with some quick items...

- First off, Co-Worker Adam has been a rockstar with the random links to great news stories recently, and he came up with another good one today. [Again, it needs to be mentioned that we do work. These links are sent to me first thing in the morning, or at night before we leave. Remember that.] This story offers a great lesson to the ladies out there: If an older, creepy looking man is offering a free breast exam, it might be a good idea to politely decline. Especially when he's not really a doctor.

- Next, Brian is always good for finding the events that are worth seeing. He's still spending a fair amount of time down South, and he's currently in Houston, but making a trip back to Louisiana over the weekend. On Sunday, he'll be attending The Angola Prison Rodeo at the Louisiana State Penitentiary. Think about that: a rodeo consisting of prison inmates. If you get a chance, click on the "History" link on the left and read about some of the stories. My favorite is

"The success of the 1967 and 1968 rodeos prompted construction of a 4,500-seat arena for the 1969 rodeo. A near disaster occurred when the bleachers collapsed during one of the shows. Spectators weren't alarmed; most didn't even get up. They sat on the collapsed structure and continued to watch. The 1971 rodeo was the wettest in history, but the show went on."

Since they won't allow spectators to bring cameras in, Brian said that he'd take some good notes and possibly send a write-up for the blog sometime next week. I don't know about everyone else, but I'm looking forward to it.

- Alright, so as promised, a little commentary on Baby Suri, the offspring of our beloved Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. The reason I didn't make any comments yesterday is two-fold: One is that I didn't have that much time, and the second is that I wanted to think about celebrity babies for a little bit longer; you know, get the thoughts in order so I could make a decent argument for once.

Here's the thing about celebrity babies: they are all the rage between the time that the media breaks the news of the pregnancy until birth. But shortly after the child is born, we often hear less and less about them. Case in point: Sean Preston Spears Federline. If it wasn't for Britney's stupidity with holding him in her lap while driving, and the recent issues with Child Services, I truly believe that we wouldn't hear too much about the kid. But in the months leading up to his birth, pregnant Britney was in every tabloid, on every blog, and the whole shebang. Same thing with Katie Holmes' and Angelina Jolie's pregnancies. But once the kid is born is like an anti-climactic ending to a suspense thriller, except we know what the outcome is: it'll be a kid. Then media does a collective sigh, and says, "Ok what do we do now?"

Plenty of celebrities have kids: Off the top of my head, I know that Bruce Willis has several kids, so does Mick Jagger, Courtney Love, Madonna, Julia Roberts, Courtney Cox, Reese Witherspoon, Sarah Jessica Parker, and many more. You heard all about their kids when they were pregnant, but once the kid was born, the news died down. Occasionally, you'll see the celeb with the kid in one hand, Starbucks Grande Half-Caf Vanilla Non-Fat Latte in the other hand, while walking with the stroller down Rodeo Drive in Los Angeles. Then the kids will grow up, and unless they do something stupid to get themselves in trouble, we may not know what they're doing with their lives.

Personally, I think the media went overboard with the TomKat pregnancy extravaganza. Did we really need media parked outside of their mansion? I doubt it. I heard on the radio this morning that you know any event is getting out of hand once the media starts covering the media circus surrounding the event. I would agree with this statement. Now Baby Suri is in this world, we'll make fun of her name, which in Hebrew means "princess", yet could pass for a boy's name in Hindi, and apparently means "pickpocket" in Japanese. Yes, these are the news topics now that this child has been born. In other words, who cares? Leave them alone.

The kid will have plenty of years ahead of herself to be scrutinized further by the tabloids and news programs, but all of this really depends on what kind of humiliation her parents put her through. That's right, I will put the initial blame on Tom and Katie, who could have remained a little more discrete in the past few months, but instead were out pushing the "silent birth" and all of that fake religion stuff. How will Suri be raised? Will she know any better? At what age will she realize that she isn't like the other kids? What will her reaction be when she sees old footage of Katie in Dawson's Creek and Tom in Top Gun? Again, these are the questions that need to be answered.

Bottom line: Suri's here now, she has no control over her crazy parents. I'll take the liberty to speak for the public and say that we don't need any more coverage of TomKat's 'kitten'. Let's wait around until she's older and starts doing stuff to bring attention to herself, or if her parents bring more unnecessary attention upon her, whichever comes first. (I think you can figure out the answer.)

With all of that being said, have a nice weekend...

Rock N Roll Chicks Wear Penn State T-Shirts!

Neko Case, of The New Pornographers fame, sports a PSU t-shirt while on stage during her solo tour. My guess is that she probably picked it up at a thrift store somewhere, but I thought it was pretty friggin cool. (Picture found on Aquarium Drunkard, with photo credit given to Ryan Dombal.) 

Doormen Strike and TomKitten?

Short post this evening, and even though she didn't know it at the time, Alexis provided some guest commentary in the form of an IM conversation earlier in the day.

"Hey I have good topic for your blog. There are like 20,000 some doormen that may go on strike tomorrow at midnight. Their contracts are up for renewal and they haven't come to agreement on issues. My doormen are part of this....totally sucks. I want a refund on my rent if they do because I'm not getting the amenities I am paying for. Also you may need to make mention tomorrow of the Tom Kitten birth, they actually name the girl Suri...what the hell kind of name is that??? I guess it means something in Hebrew someone told me. Got to love the Jewish influences going on in Hollywood."

I wouldn't say that the Doormen Strike is as monumental as last year's Transit Strike, but there will be some unhappy tenants in Manhattan. After all, who will pick up their dry cleaning, sign for their packages, and greet them in the morning & evening? Just goes to show that everyone had a union these days, even the doormen. I find it slightly absurd. Ok, I find it completely absurd. The strike isn't just limited to doormen, as this union is technically comprised of "building workers" also including handymen and other apartment building workers. Enough with the strikes already. Then again, if there is a bloggers union, I might join it...

As mentioned in a comment on yesterday's post, I will comment more tomorrow on the new TomKat baby, since I'm not sure how I feel about this kid. Is baby Suri doomed more so than baby Sean Preston? Was the birth really "silent"? How will this kid turn out if she's raised on Scientology? There are plenty of questions that need to be answered. I'll think more about it and write more tomorrow, partially because I need to come up with some additional commentary and find some new ways to make fun of Tom Cruise.

Back tomorrow...

Links, Postal Mix Up, NHL Playoffs and Some Rambling!

Two quality links from Co-worker Adam (sent to me outside of work hours of course... we actually do have work to take care of)

- What can you buy for $148.33? You can purchase a 1GB iPod Nano, a few shirts / pairs of pants, have a very nice dinner for two, or a sandwich. Not just a sandwich, the world's most expensive sandwich. Doesn't look all that appetizing to me. You can keep it.

- You like grilled cheese. I like grilled cheese. It's really easy to make: two pieces of bread, some cheese, and some heat. Instant meal. I usually eat two of them if I'm making it for lunch.This lady thought it'd be a good idea to eat 26 grilled cheese sandwiches. Competitive eating truly amazes me.

- In other news, I received my tax refund from the government, and a few words were written on the envelope: "Delivered to Greenwich, CT, in error." The good news is that the envelope wasn't opened, but I just can't understand how it would be delivered to the next town over when the address was correct, and would be the most important piece of mail I receive in months. Why can't some of my junk mail be delivered in error to another location? Way to go, United States Postal Service!

- You could call me a fairweather hockey fan. But I know when to watch the NHL, and the time to watch is when the playoffs roll around. The playoffs begin in just a few days and I'll miss the lack of ESPN coverage, where they'd have 2 games on almost every night, and another 2 games on ESPN2 each night. Come to think of it, I don't know that there'll be much in the way of national coverage for the playoffs, other than NBC picking up some games on the weekends. Really shows how a cable television station can stick it to a professional sports league after they crapped out on an entire season due to a strike. Regardless, how about the Flyers somehow avoiding having to play New Jersey in Round 1? Good... let the Devils and the Rangers beat up on each other. Flyers will (hopefully) have better luck with Buffalo.

- I think I'm mildly obsessed with blogs. And no, this is not a narcissistic comment about the RPR. I'm talking about blogs in general. It's bad enough that there is so much junk on the "WWW", but the Internet has come a long way from "Everyone has a website" to the current "Everyone has a blog". And I read them. A lot of them. I keep 20 or so in my Favorites on the Internet Explorer and I check them -- everyday. Believe me, sounds like a lot, but when I keep up with them everyday, it's not that much to read. But when I miss a day or two, whoa... watch out. Then I better block off an hour to catch up. Besides that, I'm constantly reading others on an infrequent basis. Between this blog and all the blogs I read, I'm convinced that it will lead to my eventual insomnia. The reason I mention this is because I tend to 'wander' when I'm trying to get my RPR post in, and I start reading one blog, and then check out a link to another blog, and keep going from there. Next thing I know, I have 15 windows open on my screen and my computer starts to make a sound like it's revving up a lawnmower engine or is about to attack me with sharpened claws. At that point, I know to bring myself back to the RPR and come up with some 'original' material for the readers. But if it weren't for all of these other blogs, I'd miss out on some inspiration. After all, these are the people with massive readership and all I have are some friends from home, college, and work. Hey, you gotta start somewhere. Maybe someday, I too, will have 138 comments on a post. Then random people will put me in their Favorites and I can become a professional blogger, work in my pajamas, grow a beard, make fun of the Page Six Payola Scandal, hang out in the West Village at 2pm on a Tuesday, and attend 10 concerts per week. That'd be cool, right? I wouldn't be making very much money in that situation, but with the good comes the bad. I'm rambling. word.

Tom Cruise, Cheesy TV, and Patriot's Day

Here we are... new week, but not much news to report on. I did have a chance to dig up a few things of interest, so let's get right to them.

- Shocking News: Tom Cruise is still nuts! He has that evil look on his face at all times, which reminds me of the "I Can't Believe that Cushman Decided to Sign with Bob Sugar" look from Jerry Maguire mixed with the "Whole World is Falling Apart Around Me" look from Vanilla Sky. Take a look at this....

[Clip removed because the YouTube videos take up too much space.]

- In cheesy television news, the new ABC show "What About Brian?" is actually pretty decent. If anyone's seen it, that girl, Marjorie, you remember her, right? Yeah she was on "Saved By the Bell: The New Class". In all honesty, the show isn't bad and gives me something to watch on Mondays. [Remember, I'm too far removed from the "24" bandwagon at this point, so save the 'You should watch 24 comments'. I've heard it before. Don't worry, Jack Bauer will be fine without me.] Other news: Tuesday night marks the return of "Love Monkey", which was quality television although CBS didn't agree. They'll put 75 versions of CSI on the air, but one decent show about a guy who has a cool gig as a talent rep for a music company, goes off the air. Figure that one out.

- So apparently, Massachusetts has this Patriot's Day holiday where the entire state shuts down, the Boston Marathon takes place, the Red Sox play a game that begins at 11am, and everyone sits outside getting shitcanned. Either this sounds like an early Fourth of July or the rest of the country is missing out. I say it's both. I need to start a movement to have the whole country follow Patriot's Day, after all, the Patriots fought for this nation back in the late 1700's, not just the state of Massachusetts. Everyone can always use another 3 day weekend, and it's perfect timing since it falls somewhere in the middle of President's Day and Memorial Day. I'll remind myself to put this on my platform when I run for President some day, right next to my platform to turn Friday into an official weekend day.

- Speaking of the Boston Marathon, Bill Simmons weighs in with his thoughts on the Marathon [update: link was revised on Tuesday. Oh well.] in this article from 2003. I mean seriously, you can't beat this guide to the Marathon, and the debacle that surrounds it, from The Sports Guy.

- We haven't done a music update lately, so here's a few songs that have been at the top of the iTunes playlist:

- Yeah Yeah Yeahs - "Gold Lion"
- The Boy Least Likely To - "Be Gentle With Me"
- The New Pornographers - "From Blown Speakers" and "The Electric Version"
- Stars of Track and Field - "Say Hello"
- The Raconteurs - "Steady As She Goes"
- David Byrne (of the Talking Heads) - "Miss America"

That's it for tonight. Why don't I come back tomorrow with some more RPR'ing?

Andy's Nuggets of Wisdom: The Tramp Stamp

Today, Andy touches on the correlation between body art and nymphomania, along with how the kids these days have no shame...

Have you ever noticed that girls that have tattoos on their lower backs tend to be nymphomaniacs? I'm just basing this on the girls whose lower back tattoos I've seen, and they love the sex. Two of the girls at my office have it, the one first had sex at 14, and the other had her daughter when she was 16. I look like freakin straight edge compared to these girls. I blame Britney Spears.

Let's See What's in the Random Bucket

- Big shout out to Jessica's cousin, Karen, and her family for an enjoyable Passover dinner on Wednesday night. They are a bunch of characters and there was a wide range of interesting conversation, argument, and off-color commentary.

Similar to politics, I'm not here to talk about religion in any detail. One thing I am curious about is related to spring-time religious dietary restrictions. I'd like to take a poll on which is more difficult: keeping a modified diet for 8 days for Passover, where you can't eat any bread or any food item with any yeast, etc. and most other standard items; or giving up one item for 40 days for Lent. For anybody who follows either of these restrictions, just curious to hear your thoughts to which would be more difficult. If you don't follow either of them, then just leave your thoughts on which you think would be tougher to keep.

- Would anyone disagree that "La Bamba" is the best song ever written in Spanish? I don't really know too many songs in Spanish, but it sure beats any song sung by Ricky Martin, Shakira, JLo, or the guys who gave us "The Macarena".

- Something tells me that if Penn State ever decided to offer this class, it might fill up very quickly. We're talking like Frankie Clemente and Wine Tasting quickly.

- Overheard in New York is a great site to read about all of the bizarre comments that people say and the off-the-wall conversations they have, and don't realize that it's being overheard by a complete stranger. Comments and conversations are always funnier out of context.

- I guess it's good to know that The Sports Guy, Bill Simmons, doesn't have a MySpace page.

Q: MySpace. Add me. Update more often.
-- Chad, Spokane, Wash.

SG: Every so often, I get an e-mail like this from someone who thinks that I have a MySpace account and wants to be added to my list of buddies or something. Just for the record, I do not have a MySpace account. At least not yet.

(And while we're here, I don't post on other people's MySpace accounts; I don't exchange IMs with people; I don't go into chat rooms; I don't post on any message boards other than the Sons of Sam Horn; I don't belong to Facebook.com; I don't play video games or video poker against random strangers online; and I don't randomly show up at bars by myself introducing myself to people and saying things like, "Hey, who wants to do some shots!" I have nothing against any of those things; I just don't do them. You have to believe me. Back to the column.)

- I'm heading back home to visit the fam in the Philly burbs this weekend, for the first time in about 10 weeks! Believe me, I've been getting grief from Mom & Dad on this. It's alright, I will get back on the 4-6 week track with the trips to the Lafayette Hill.

Enjoy the weekend.

I Still Hate American Idol

- I'm flipping through the TV channels tonight, and since American Idol is on like 10 times per week, I come across it on FOX. So tonight's theme was Queen songs. Don't get me wrong: I appreciate Queen's music as much as anyone else. I'd venture as far as putting "Bohemian Rhapsody" in my Top 10 Favorite Songs of all time. But when I saw Brian May and the other two guys (not sure if it was Roger Taylor and John Deacon, although they are "the other two guys") performing along with the Idol contestants, I wanted to vomit. Freddie Mercury must be rolling over in his grave. His guys were selling out by teaming up with the villains who produce American Idol, where I'd imagine that an astonishing amount of people aren't at all familiar with Queen's music. Even one of the contestants, Elliott (?) performed "Somebody to Love" and admitted that he had never even heard the song before choosing to perform it. What the f? This show drives me nuts. I'm almost tempted to start watching it religiously just so I can rip on it every Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday night. Let's take a poll: Is it worth it to subject myself to this wretched display of music (and I use that term loosely) just for some blog material? You tell me.

- And since I have nothing else to add right now, just spend the next 4 minutes or so watching a Family Guy clip. (Side note: Next post won't be until Friday. Happy Passover to my fellow Jewish tribe members.)

Pudding Diet?

It should be noted that Janet, known as "JMo" in the RPR world, is becoming a real RPR superstar. She's been commenting left and right, alerting me of the dangers of Stamford, CT, where I hold current residency, and now providing us with dietary tips.

She asked me earlier if I've ever dieted, and since my will power when it comes to food is minimal, I responded that the best I do is to keep things in moderation. It's served me well for the most part. My problem is that I could use a trip to the gym about 2 times more per week than I'm currently maintaining.

Any case, so here's what Janet's done:

"I've been eating 3 servings of dairy per day. I lost 3.6 lbs in the week, but that's not the noteworthy part though. My dairy came in the form of sugar-free, fat-free pudding. JMO's pudding diet!"

Apparently others were astonished by this. I can't imagine why.

So if anyone is looking to shed a few pounds, go to the store and grab some sugar-free, fat-free, and probably taste-free pudding and eat 3 servings per day. If JMo keeps this up, we may have to give her the position of Blog Dietician and give her a weekly column for her new age diet tips.

Side Notes...

- I've done extensive research (including 1 Google search) and haven't found any specific news stories related to recent gang violence in Stamford. I found a few websites about teen gang violence from a while back and they mentioned Stamford. Also, a Stamford man was up in Providence, RI, and got attacked in a Home Depot parking lots. I also found an article on the drug trafficking that takes place in some neighborhoods of Stamford (the ones that I stay away from). JMo, Please point me in the direction if you have a particular story that you are referring to. Otherwise I'm in the dark and I don't need any attacks by the local thugs.

- We're always looking for a good deal, and Brandon came across this one: The Rocky Anthology at Target for $8.97! That's 5 DVD's for under $9. Unreal. I may have to get over there and purchase this. Can't miss out on Sly Stallone's best work. Also can't miss out on any opportunity to mention Sylvester Stallone just so you can call him "Sly".

- Remember Roger Toussaint, the ring leader of last December's Transit Workers' Union strike? Well justice is being served to this clown as the Brooklyn Supreme Court sentenced him to 10 days in jail and slapped him with a fine of $1,000. Doesn't seem like much, but it serves this guy right after orchestrating the bonanza known as the Transit Strike 2005. They oughta put him away for longer for all of the inconvenience his caused.

Check back tomorrow for more of my press releasing...

Andy's Nuggets of Wisdom: TV Rules My Life

Tonight's version of "Andy's Nuggets of Wisdom" is more of a revelation on the current state of Andy's life. Let's see what he has to say...

"My life has become linked to TV. Monday nights I watch 24 which leaves me excited for the week, and on edge until the next episode. Tuesday night is more relaxing while I let some karaoke singers butcher songs, although I do manage to fall in love with one of the female contestants every year. Wednesday is my least heterosexual night, where I watch One Tree Hill, and then the American Idol results show. Because TV sucks so bad on Wednesdays, I can't wait for it to be over. Thursday I don't watch TV, I usually do something constructive. This leaves me feeling accomplished and ready to finish up the week and hit the bars on the weekend."

Weekend Wrap Up

Just a few items from the weekend...

- Thanks to those who took me up on the invitation to come out to the Downtown Harvest show on Friday night. The turnout was ridiculous and glad there was such great support for Frank and the band. (Alexis wants a shout-out because she showed up... I'll oblige this time, but Alexis, come on, I expect you to show up to cool events that I endorse...)

- So Belman was telling me how he was at Caroline's (the well-known comedy club) on Friday night and Jeff Garlin was performing (you know him as Jeff Greene from Curb Your Enthusiasm). Anyway, so who ends up being in the crowd and comes on stage for an impromptu comedy set? Robin Williams. How crazy is that?

- Saw Thank You for Smoking on Saturday night with the Jessica. Not sure how much press this movie has gotten in other places, but around here, it's being talked up pretty well. The movie is about a lobbyist named Nick Naylor (played by Aaron Eckhart) who works for "The Academy of Tobacco Studies" and defends the cigarette companies in the fight against smoking. The enemy is Vermont Senator Ortolan Finistirre (played well by William H. Macy) who despises Naylor and will do anything to have him go down in flames along with all of the major tobacco companies. In the meantime, Naylor is also battling internal issues about how much of a father he is being to his son after a recent divorce from his wife. Side note: Katie Holmes is in this flick playing the sneaky reporter for a DC newspaper that is trying to get into the mind of Nick Naylor, and will go to any length to obtain her story. The dialogue in the movie is extremely witty and well-written, and is persuading to the point that you almost feel for the lobbyists of the industries (tobacco, alcohol, and firearms) that are constantly getting flack from the rest of the country. The movie is not intended to change your perspective on tobacco companies, but rather just to tell the story from the perspective of someone who makes a living working for the tobacco industry. A fascinating, satirical film, and I will definitely give it the Ross Recommendation.

- Anybody see The Sopranos last night? Interesting side note: The banquet hall where Johnny Sack's daughter's wedding was held... I'm almost certain that it was filmed at a place in Great Neck, Long Island called Leonard's, where Jessica's cousin's bat mitzvah was held last year. Toward the end of the episode when they were all outside of the hall, you could see the "Leonard's" sign in the background. Not that anyone really cares, but I was excited that I recognized a location that was used in filming an episode of The Sopranos.

That'll do it for now. More RPR'ing tomorrow...

If Soccer is the "World's Sport", Consider the U.S. Not Apart of That World

Just a few quick items before I call it a week.

- Even though this movie doesn't come out until July 27, 2007, let's all get very excited that they've simply released this teaser clip. I don't think any of us believed that the movie would come to fruition... until now.

- Bryant asked me to comment on soccer -- "the world's sport". It was a random suggestion, but I can oblige. I was always amazed that every little kid plays soccer. But if you think about it, it makes perfect sense. You want kids to get involved with something, learn to work with a team, follows the rules of a game, and the best part is that it's simple. "Billy, all you have to do is kick the ball in that goal over there". Then the kids all run around after the ball and everyone has a great time. Whenever I think of soccer, the image I get is every kid on the field chasing after the ball except for the 2 goalies, since they were told to stay put. I was never a huge fan of soccer, but I appreciate the athleticism of the players. Personally, my foot/eye coordination sucks, and I'm impressed that they play two 45 minute halves, each straight through, which takes a lot of stamina.

As for the current state of soccer, I really enjoy The World Cup and genuinely look forward to it this summer. I enjoy any type of international competition, and The World Cup and The Olympics are the main international competitions, and thus I like both. To be quite honest, I really don't care too much about soccer otherwise. I think the Major League Soccer will never be big in the US, and don't think it will last another 10 years in this country. More and more young players will go over to Europe to play, and sooner or later, the MLS won't be left with much in the way of talent. Besides that, the league is having a tough time bringing in revenue, and can't operate with continued monetary losses. There are some things that just cannot be changed, and I believe the fact is that soccer will never be as big as the other professional sports in the US. Turn it around: would football, baseball, or basketball ever have a chance in hell to rival soccer in England or anywhere else in Europe for that matter? Of course not. Just won't happen. Each country is rooted in its pasttimes. As big as soccer is as a participant sports for the youth, after the age of 10, most kids don't care about it anymore. Some will go on to play for the high school team, but after that, there's only a select few that go on to play at a collegiate level. Even at that point, if they were truly gifted in the sport, they would already be playing professionally somewhere.

Bottom line: I appreciate the athleticism of the sport, and find the athletes to be natually talented. Unfortunately, my interest in soccer is minimal, and the world's sport of "football" doesn't hold anything to American football in my book.

- I was super excited today when the NFL Regular Season schedules were announced. Co-worker Matt commented that "baseball season just started. Don't you think you're jumping the gun?" No. Not at all. I love baseball just as much as the next guy, but football is the be all and end all of American sport in my mind (as similarly mentioned in the previously comments). Amazingly, the Eagles received 2 MNF games (3 if you include Christmas game), along with 2 other nationally televised games already scheduled. Are we sure that they were a 6-10 team last year? 6-10 teams don't get this much primetime exposure. Regardless, I'm excited for the season... already. (No mention of a certain #81 that will be visiting Philadelphia with his new team on October 8th. Plenty of time for commentary between now and then)

Alright, I'm calling it a night. Enjoy the weekend and let me know if something cool happens. Cool things make for good blogging.

The International Rules of Manhood

This was passed on to me by co-worker Adam, and I thought it was worth a few laughs. It's slightly off-the-wall, but we like off-the-wall items here at the RPR. Enjoy, and fellas, if you have any more to add, please post your ideas.
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1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
(e) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
(a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
(b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
(c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.

25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below.

"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"
"BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next!"

We hope this clears up any confusion.

The International Council of Manhood, Ltd.

Downtown Harvest CD Release Party - This Friday!

I invite everyone to in the New York metro area to the Release Party for Downtown Harvest's debut album. The guys have been working hard on the record over the last year, so I'm excited to hear what they've come up with in the studio. They will be playing a 2 hour long set and I've heard rumblings that there may be a collaboration with a 9 piece Spanish hip hop group, which could be interesting.

Details...

Location: Arlene's Grocery (95 Stanton St between Orchard & Ludlow St.) - Lower East Side
Date & Time: This Friday, April 7th at 10:30pm
Cost: $10 (Tell the guy at the door that you're there to see Downtown Harvest!)

Roger Clemens, Love Monkey, and Exploding Paperweights?

3 quick items of note. I'll even number them for you so you can be sure that I actually provide 3 items:

1. Way to go, Roger Clemens! The list of people that strongly dislike you is continuing to grow. The people of Boston, Toronto, and New York dislike you, and the people of Houston will probably dislike you if you keep them waiting any longer to make a decision about whether or not you'll be playing this season. After all, it's not like the season has just started or anything. Any case, now a big piece of the Asian population dislikes you as well. The only reason I'm posting this is because I secretly enjoy when an athlete or team gets a 'public black eye', and the athlete/team isn't related to the city of Philadelphia. (Doesn't mean I condone the comment.) Here's the excerpt from an ESPN.com article:

Roger Clemens was discussing his future Tuesday at the Astros season opener when he responded to a question about his health after the World Baseball Classic with a comment that some might consider racially insensitive.

Clemens, who broke down late last season with injuries, said he felt fine after the WBC and left the tournament impressed by the quality of the international teams.
But he made a questionable comment when speaking about the devotion of the Japanese and South Korean fans.

"None of the dry cleaners were open, they were all at the game, Japan and Korea," Clemens said. "So we couldn't get any dry cleaning done out there, but I guess the neatest thing is that 50,000 of them were at Anaheim Stadium."

2. To all of the Love Monkey fans out there, rejoice! The CBS "dramady" we enjoyed in January and was abruptly cut after only 3 episodes was picked up by VH1. They will be showing the 3 previously aired episodes back-t0-back on Tuesday, April 11 at 7pm, and then the 5 unaired episodes from the first season will be on beginning Tuesday, April 18 at 9pm. Read more about it right here. I don't know about you guys, but I'm excited.

3. Thank you to Julie for passing along this human interest story , and by that I mean, "the stupid things that people in this country do". It should also be noted that Julie wants to file this one under "Things not to keep on your desk at work". Moral of the story: when dealing with ammunition, don' be so quick to assume that it's not live.

Deaf Drivers, NCAA Championship, and Some Philly Sports

I'm not wasting any time, let's just jump right into the agenda...

- I asked the question yesterday about whether or not deaf people can obtain driver's licenses. Since I received about one response over the course of Monday, I just decided to do what anyone else would do: I googled it. Here's a good excerpt from pbs.org:

"Can the deaf drive cars? Many deaf drivers use special devices that let them know when fire or ambulance sirens are wailing or car horns are blaring. To enable drivers to distinguish between sounds, many of these devices can rate the type of sound and alert users on a multi-light panel. Some deaf drivers also use special panoramic mirrors so they can see more of what is around and behind their car. In the U.S., there are few restrictions on the deaf obtaining a license to drive. In certain states, deaf drivers may be required to have special licenses to indicate that the driver is deaf. Not all countries permit deaf people to drive, however; according to statistics from the World Federation of the Deaf (WFD), at least 26 countries do not allow deaf citizens to hold a driver's license."

- Alright, so I was completely off with my prediction that the NCAA Championship Game between Florida and UCLA would be a good one. I couldn't have been further off. Florida just ran away with the game and it was uneventful in the process. The Gators were up by 11 points at half time, and with 10 minutes left in the game, they were hanging on to nearly 20 points worth of a lead. Way to hold up that solid defense, UCLA.

What annoys me is that back in the day, the Division I colleges would usually just have a good football team or a good basketball team. Now more than ever, schools have a good football and a good basketball team. Schools like Florida, LSU, West Virginia, Texas, and Ohio State (cringe) can all hold their own in both sports and remain competitive. Of course, during my time at the Penn State, we had one good football season and one good basketball season. We couldn't allow ourselves to become greedy....

- Way to go, Phils. Opening Day and the Fightin' Phils get hammered, 13-5, by the St. Louis Cardinals. If it wasn't for Jimmy Rollins' hitting streak, I'd probably be less excited for the beginning of the season, but if JRoll keeps getting on base, then it could be an interesting April in South Philadelphia. In other sports news, I am extremely excited that Charles Barkley was elected to the NBA's Hall of Fame Class of 2006. Sir Charles, the Round Mound of Rebound, was my favorite 76er when I was growing up, and one of the sports highlights of my childhood was meeting Barkley at Sixers Camp in June, 1991. I was 9 years old and I asked Charles if I could shake his hand. He said, "Sure, little man" and then I got an autograph. I think I still have the autograph somewhere at home. [Side note: I'm still pissed that the Sixers traded Barkley to Phoenix in 1992 for Jeff Hornacek, Tim Perry, and Andrew Lang. Why do I still remember this? Because it absolutely devastated me that my favorite player was being traded away. I despised the owner of the Sixers at the time, Harold Katz, for making this move. I went to camp a few summers with his daughter, so my friends and I harassed her for what her father did.]

Here's Barkley before his weight ballooned up. Also notice in the second picture, when he paid tribute to Magic Johnson by wearing #32, and when the Sixers decided to go with the ugly uniforms with the stars. Bad idea.



- Folks, that's all I have right now. Be back later on...

Andy's Nuggets of Wisdom - Opening Day Version

Major League Baseball Opening Day version of "Andy's Nuggets of Wisdom".

Today's nugget is dedicated to the beginning of baseball season. As a loyal Pirates fan for all my life, I find that every year around April I am filled with anticipation and optimism just to be let down. You would think after so many years I would learn a lesson, but I think I did learn my lesson. I think the lesson was sticking by someone or something when times get tough. I wouldn't want people to give up on me, so there is no way I am giving up on them. LET'S GO BUCS!!!

[Editor's Note: The RPR in no way endorses Pittsburgh sports. But since we have several Pittsburgh fans in the audience who are good friends of mine, I'll let it slide.]

Quick Post from the Weekend

A few items about the weekend before I go park myself in front of the television for the rest of the evening...

- First shout out to Jen and Jordan for a good time at dinner on Friday with the Jessica and I. Since one of our favorite things is to check out all of the top notch burger joints in the city, we checked another one off of our list, as we went to Rare (Lexington Ave between 37th & 38th St.) You wouldn't think that Rare is a great name for a place that specializes in burgers, but it was fantastic. Ever have a burger "flambeed in whiskey"? Every bite was a myriad of flavor in your mouth between the beef, spices, and a hint of booze. It was wonderful. I also found out that Jen and Jordan are big fans of the blog, so that's another reason for the shout out. I also offered a guest columnist spot to Jordan (who has a very similar sense of humor as myself) so let's look forward to some material from him in the future.

- Second shout out to Alison and Reza for having the Jessica and I out at their house (!) in Long Island on Saturday. Very impressed with what they did to the place... nice work kids. They are always very hospitable hosts and maintained that status after our visit this weekend. Interesting story from Saturday night. We to a local bar called The Nutty Irishman. When we walked in, I noticed a guy doing sign language with a few other people. Didn't think anything of it. As we walked further toward the back of the bar, I noticed several others doing sign language. Turns out, there were about 30-40 people in the bar apart of a gathering of the hearing impaired. It was fascinating. Here's what I noticed:

• They were boozing it up pretty well.
• One bartender asked on of their aids how to sign "Thank you" and "You're Welcome", which I thought was admirable.
• The loud music didn't bother them.
• The band must have been confused that so many people were in the audience, yet so many of them were ignoring them.
• Jessica brought up an interesting point: Are deaf people allowed to drive? Granted, their sight is fine, but wouldn't they be at some disadvantage not being able to hear a car horn in an instance when there's a dangerous situation? If anyone knows, please enlighten me.

Just wanted to mention it, because it was a cool experience to see the communication between these people. They also did a nice job of juggling their drinks while signing with both hands. You had to have seen it.

- So it was pretty nice weather this weekend. Sitting outside for just a short time this morning/afternoon, yes, I got a little sunburn. Unbelievable.

- Weekend TV shows that I enjoy thoroughly: VH1's Best Week Ever and E!'s Talk Soup. Both are basically about the week in crazy television, both love to make fun of American Idol and all of today's celebrities, and both are good for 30 minutes of lowball humor.

- Mark it down: Monday night's NCAA Men's Basketball Championship between UCLA and Florida may actually turn out to be an excellent game. The media and the fans were all pissed off because there would be a champion other than Duke, UConn, Villanova, or any other 2006 powerhouse, but I think this UCLA/Florida game will be a good one. Perfect example of a great offensive team vs. a great defensive team. As it's gone in the past, the defensive team is the one that should pull it out. If that happens, then we'll see the championship go back to southern California.

- Anyone have any thoughts on Dailylight Savings Time? Doesn't really seem to bother me, but I've found that many others get all riled up on the topic due to being jipped 1 hour of sleep. Eh, I'm already over it.

That's it for tonight. I'll be back tomorrow...